Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

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  • Chadman
    Legend
    • May 2008
    • 6537

    Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

    By Scott Brown Trombone Review

    News out of Steelers Headquarters is that starting left tackle Max Starks has signed a 6 year, $105 million dollar deal with a $17.5 million signing bonus.

    "The Pittsburgh Steelers are happy to announce that Max will be staying with us on a long term arrangement. He is obviously a key element to our success last season and was rewarded appropriately. He is very excited to be here & is lokoing forward to assuming a leadership role with the Steelers. Omar Khan has worked tirelessly for the last 12 minutes to get this deal worked out- a deal everybody is happy with." said Steelers Kevin Colbert.

    "Max was a key player for us down the stretch & proved to be one of the premier offensive lineman in the NFL last season. He's big, moves fast & has cool hair" said Head Coach Mike Tomlin.

    "I always knew Max would be paid his worth" said Max Starks' mother- Maureen Starks.

    When asked of his reaction to his new contract, Starks said "bout time"- obviously referring to the bad taste left in his mouth after not beating Marvel Smith out in training camp last off season.

    Starks looked to be bigger in the press conference & said "I'm aiming to be the biggest man in the NFL. I'm at 410lbs right now- I'm hoping for 450lbs by training camp"

    More details to follow.
    The people that are trying to make the world worse never take a day off, why should I?

    Light up the darkness.
  • Oracle

    #2
    Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

    F--- me.

    I hope it's back loaded.

    Comment

    • Snatch98
      Pro Bowler
      • May 2008
      • 1451

      #3
      Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

      lol

      Comment

      • Flasteel
        Hall of Famer
        • May 2008
        • 4004

        #4
        Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

        Check the date on your calendar before you freak out.
        sigpic

        Comment

        • BURGH86STEEL
          Legend
          • May 2008
          • 6921

          #5
          Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

          Originally posted by Flasteel
          Check the date on your calendar before you freak out.
          At least he got one person to fall for it

          Comment

          • phillyesq
            Legend
            • May 2008
            • 7568

            #6
            Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

            Well played, Chadman.

            Comment

            • Herewegosteelers!
              Backup
              • Sep 2008
              • 206

              #7
              Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

              Almost had me,,,,,,,,but then I thought nahhhh because someone already got me today

              Comment

              • MeetJoeGreene
                Hall of Famer
                • May 2008
                • 3221

                #8
                Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                He almost had me too... until I say the Trombone Review..
                Cleveland spelled backwards is DNA Level C
                http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/d...itty29/mjg.jpg
                another AA/AS original.

                Comment

                • Iron Shiek
                  Hall of Famer
                  • May 2008
                  • 3798

                  #9
                  Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                  Well I couldn't get the thread to open (its been happening alot here at work lately causing me to post less) so I started frantically searching the web for that headline or related news and couldn't find any. I then thought, "Wow, Chadman really has some scoop...did Max send him a heads up on Facebook?"

                  Finally....I got the thread to open and saw 6 yr 105 million and new it was a joke.

                  You bastage!

                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • Jom112
                    Pro Bowler
                    • Jun 2008
                    • 1496

                    #10
                    Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                    I knew it was false when he was only paid $105 Mil for 6 years...

                    Comment

                    • RuthlessBurgher
                      Legend
                      • May 2008
                      • 33208

                      #11
                      Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal



                      I was going to go with the "Now that Dan Rooney is in Ireland as Ambassador, Art II can finally unleash his plan for Steeler cheerleaders in 2009" story instead, but since April Fools comes earlier in Australia than in Pennsylvania, the Chadman beat me to it. If fact, just now, at 9:00 a.m. EST, it just switched over to April 2nd in Sydney, since it is midnight on that side of the world right now.
                      Steeler teams featuring stat-driven, me-first, fantasy-football-darling diva types such as Antonio Brown & Le'Veon Bell won no championships.

                      Super Bowl winning Steeler teams were built around a dynamic, in-your-face defense plus blue-collar, hard-hitting, no-nonsense football players on offense such as Hines Ward & Jerome Bettis.

                      We don't want Juju & Conner to replace what we lost in Brown & Bell.

                      We are counting on Juju & Conner to return us to the glory we once had with Hines & The Bus.

                      Comment

                      • pfelix73
                        Hall of Famer
                        • Aug 2008
                        • 3458

                        #12
                        Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                        It's about time they did something right!



                        On a serious note- I wish they would sign him to a long term deal.
                        6- Time Super Bowl Champions......
                        IX X XIII XIV XL XLIII

                        2012 MNF Executive Champion

                        sigpic



                        Comment

                        • SteelBucks
                          Legend
                          • Aug 2008
                          • 8075

                          #13
                          Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                          Originally posted by pfelix73
                          It's about time they did something right!



                          On a serious note- I wish they would sign him to a long term deal.
                          Since they cut James Harrison (mentioned in another April Fool's thread), they can now spend all of their time focused on Max.

                          Comment

                          • ANPSTEEL
                            Starter
                            • Jun 2008
                            • 888

                            #14
                            Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                            you had me at hello...

                            at least until this:

                            "I'm aiming to be the biggest man in the NFL. I'm at 410lbs right now- I'm hoping for 450lbs by training camp"

                            which pretty much gave it away.

                            although, if I had any real reading comprehension skills... I would have noticed the Trombone Review.

                            Comment

                            • Chavezz
                              Backup
                              • May 2008
                              • 465

                              #15
                              Re: Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal

                              I didn't know that Australia had April?? I thought you guys had a different calendar than we did?
                              http://www.planetsteelers.com/cpg141...serpics/cv.jpg

                              Comment

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