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At the end of the regular season, I handicapped each playoff team's odds of winning the Super Bowl.
For example, I gave Arizona the worst odds at 50-1. And now, two weeks later, they have still not won the Super Bowl. I RULE!
Anyway, my awesomeness aside, with only four teams remaining in the playoffs, it's time to reset the odds.
Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals might still be the underdogs, but Larry Fitzgerald can carry them a long way. He isn't often mentioned alongside the likes of Terrell Owens, Randy Moss and other elite receivers and, well … he really shouldn't be. Because Larry Fitzgerald doesn't play wide receiver. He plays a new hybrid position that requires that you catch passes but not be an insufferable jerk at the same time. And he's very good at it.
Odds: 49-1 (You've earned my respect, Arizona!) Or 12-1
Philadelphia Eagles
With the Phillies fresh off a World Series title and the Eagles now improbably one win from the Super Bowl, Donovan McNabb says "The city of Philadelphia is buzzing." That shows how different the perspective is on the field compared to how it is in the stands. Philadelphia is not buzzing. It's well past buzzing. The fans of Philadelphia are full-on drunk. They know there is a massive hangover coming. They know they could throw up at any moment. They know they just inappropriately touched the complete stranger in front of them. They know they just spouted a string of profanity in front of a 6-year-old. They know they're eventually going to black out and wake up in the morning beside the Sixers. And who knows, they might even have to hold McNabb's hair while he vomits. But for now they'll have another drink and see what happens.
Odds: 6-1
Baltimore Ravens
Why do people keep saying "You do not want to play the Ravens"? I don't get it. Isn't it the complete opposite? I mean, sure they're a very tough team to beat, but you still want to play them. I bet if you asked the Chargers right now if they would like to play the Ravens, they would say: "We sure would! That would mean we're still in the playoffs." Or ask the Cardinals or Eagles and they'd say: "Definitely, because that would be in the Super Bowl." The only explanation is that the Ravens smell. It could be body odor, it could be halitosis; most likely it's a digestive issue. But they must smell. And bad. Because, to me, "You do not want to play the Ravens" sounds a lot like "You do not want to go in there right now." Light a match, Ravens!
Odds: 4-1
Pittsburgh Steelers
The biggest concern for Pittsburgh in the playoffs was their inconsistent offense. But against the Chargers their offensive line was outstanding, Willie Parker ran the ball with ease and Ben Roethlisberger was nearly flawless. As good as Roethlisberger has been during his career, the one thing that probably prevents him from being mentioned in the same sentence with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning is his proclivity for poor decision-making. But yesterday he made every correct read, every right throw, and was as smart and efficient as he ever has been. And this coming off a concussion. So that's good news for the Steelers, since it's clear that Roethlisberger concussed the stupid part of his brain.
Odds: 2-1
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