The Legend of James Harrison

[Jigawatts]

James Harrison goes to Burger King and orders a Big Mac... and gets one.

James Harrison doesn't need a bodyguard, bodyguards need James Harrison.

[Iron Shiek]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Jig, don't know if you saw the thread about "Vote for Harrison", but I put a bunch of Chuck Norris-isms in there but with Harrison's name instead...

I like that one you just posted too, a very good one. Another:

James Harrison wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

or

James Harrison does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

[RussBII]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Hah! I love these. Here are my all time faves:

When you type "James Harrison" into google and press enter, the lights go out. When they come back on, your wife is pregnant.

James Harrison does not sleep. He waits.

James Harrison challenged John Kruk and Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles contest?" James Harrison won by 5.

[Iron Shiek]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Here go the ones I put in the Vote for Silverback thread...

1. If you have five dollars and James Harrison has five dollars, James Harrison has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on James Harrison's computer. James Harrison is always in control.
3. Apple pays James Harrison 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. James Harrison can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. James Harrison can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. James Harrison is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. James Harrison destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. James Harrison can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

James Harrison doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures James Harrison has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with James Harrison.

James Harrison does not sleep. He waits.

James Harrison is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

James Harrison is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

James Harrison counted to infinity - twice.

When James Harrison does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. (My favorite)

James Harrison is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

James Harrison's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

James Harrison can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

James Harrison doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

James Harrison can slam a revolving door.

James Harrison does not get frostbite. James Harrison bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching hearing James Harrison was born. (I altered this one a bit)

Russ that one is awesome!

[Iron Shiek]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison



Never seen this pic before. Thought it deserved to be in this thread...

"Ed Deer was hit so hard by James Harrison, that the letters on his jersey re-shuffled themselves. He now goes by Ed Reed for fear of getting hit like that again"

[Iron Shiek]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison




What's that? You talkin to me!?

[stlrz d]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

There are all things great and small...and then there is James Harrison.

(made that one up myself, so if it sucks I'll tell JH you said so). :P

[RuthlessBurgher]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Brett Favre is not the first player to flirt with retirement and then come back and play.

Jack Lambert played for the Steelers for 10 years. It was awesome. Then he retired. Turf toe he said. Yeah, right. Like that would slow him down.

After a few years off, he was inspired by the movie "Soul Man" starring C. Thomas Howell, and came back to the Steelers as "Greg Lloyd" for 10 more years. It was awesome. Then he retired. Torn patella tendon and staph infection he said. Yeah, right. Like that would slow him down.

After a few more years off, he was further inspired by the movie "Face/Off" starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta, and came back to the Steelers yet again as "James Harrison." It is awesome.

Sure he is having a good season, but imagine what Harrison could do if he weren't a 56 year old white guy who dyed his skin black and then cut his own face off and replaced it with another.

[stlrz d]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Ah what the hell...I used this one in another thread so I may as well add it.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear itself has nothing to fear but James Harrison.

[Mel Blount's G]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison


The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
The only thing fear itself has to fear is James Harrison.

[Mel Blount's G]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Nice. 2x Harrison fear posts

[Discipline of Steel]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

Here go the ones I put in the Vote for Silverback thread...

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

Russ that one is awesome!

That one is sick! Im so glad to see the love for 92...imagine an MVP from a D!

[Ozey74]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

People will never wet themselves due to being afraid of James Harrision because their pee is too scared to come out.

[RuthlessBurgher]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

When James Harrison sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only this picture:

James Harrison has not had to pay taxes ever.

[Mel Blount's G]

Re: The Legend of James Harrison

When James Harrison was born the doctor smacked his bottom. James punched him in the mouth. Nobody smacks James Harrison.