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The only person I don't mind ad-libbing the Star Spangled Banner is Enrico Palazzo.
In response to his pleas, an officer said: "You think we've never arrested somebody that's made national media? ... We deal with the Bengals all the time."
In addition to problems with stylizing it to the nth degree, it also helps to actually know the words. It's "o'er the ramparts we watched" not "what so proudly we watched," Christina.
I realize that it is not the anthem, but my all-time favorite is the Ray Charles version of America the Beautiful.
Ruthless I see you have Kendrick Ellis in your mock. I watched him in the Texas v. the Nation game (now known as the NFLPA Game). He was impressive. He chased every play, got regular penetration, and made a lot of tackles and got a sack. I think he earned himself some money. Phil Taylor is the top of this class. But, Ellis appeared to be a better NT than Jerrell Powe who also played in the game and was inconsistent.
Even if Bill Belichick was getting an atomic wedgie, his face would look exactly the same.
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