It pains me to say this

[DukieBoy]

I taught Chuck Norris his toughness ... telepathically. He thanks me daily by sending me royallites. I once beat Steven Segal into submission on one of his movies, and he asked for more, Please. The movie was never released. He made a career move to real police work. I teach modesty seminars world-wide. My predictive powers are 99% right-brained. Steelers 31-13, +2 in turnovers, 3 redzone TD's, Worilds goes off one way or another, the receiving core is amazing, and Mike Wallace calls in asking if he can come back and be on the team again.

[flippy]

Here's a quick list of Flippy accomplishments:

1. Made James Harrison weep like a little girl
2. Beat Casey Hampton in an eating contest
3. Won a spelling bee versus Terry Bradshaw even though I spotted him every letter
4. Injured Gilby when he fell on me

Need I go on?