Quote Originally Posted by RuthlessBurgher View Post
Tell me. What do you do with offensive coordinators?

Burn!
Burn!
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

And what do you burn apart from offensive coordinators?

More offensive coordinators!
Shh!
Wood!

So, why do offensive coordinators burn?

B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

Good! Heh heh.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

So, how do we tell whether he is made of wood?

Build a bridge out of him.

Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

Does wood sink in water?

No. No.
No, it floats! It floats!
Throw him into the pond!
The pond! Throw him into the pond!

What also floats in water?

Bread!
Apples!
Uh, very small rocks!
Cider!
Uh, gra-- gravy!
Cherries!
Mud!
Uh, churches! Churches!
Lead! Lead!

A duck!

Oooh.

Exactly. So, logically...

If... he... weighs... the same as a duck,... he's made of wood.

And therefore?

An offensive coordinator!
in that case... burn him!!