Draft Haikus (Colbert needs to make sure player names have the right # of syllables)
We need another
Thread about Tyler Eifert.
Or ninety more threads.
And poor forty time means we
Can draft Jarvis Jones?
Couldn't work out at combine
But heart's okay now.
Jets get 13th pick
For Darrelle Revis, but he
Gets no guarantees.
Tavon Austin might
Go top ten, but he'd still be
Small on high school teams.
Honey Badger is
Just Tyrann now, but he's still
Just a mid-round pick.
KeKe and Ezekiel
Is Ziggy. Dumb Names.
A Rambo jersey
Would be cool but we don't want
More off-field problems.
Manti Te'o won't
be in New York for the Draft.
We get an extra
Sixth round comp pick for a guy
Who's on our roster.
Final Ruthless Mock:
1.22 CB Marcus Peters, 6'0" 197 lbs., Washington
2.56 FS Damarious Randall, 5'11" 196 lbs., Arizona State
3.87 TE Clive Walford, 6'4" 251 lbs., Miami
4.121 DE Henry Anderson, 6'6" 294 lbs., Stanford
5.160 WR Titus Davis, 6'1" 196 lbs., Central Michigan
6.199 OLB Kyle Emanuel, 6'3" 255 lbs., North Dakota State
6.212c OLB Max Valles, 6'5" 251 lbs., Virginia
7.239 RB John Crockett, 6'0" 217 lbs., North Dakota State