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Thread: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

  1. #1
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    Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    [interior morning]
    [A disheveled room surrounds a disheveled bed. Consistency being the last refuge of the unimaginative, a disheveled figure lies on the bed, tangled in a coil of sheets. A haze hangs in the air and gives the illusion of an atmosphere of substance, not unlike the lingering thickness after the fireworks have been set off and the confetti, after being launched in triumph, has begun its pointless journey back to earth. Based on the near terminal case of bed-head and the smell coming from the kitchen we are left to assume that our hero has been asleep for a long while.]


    Yeah! Uh-huh!

    [The figure on the bed stirs]

    .. you know what it is!

    *blink* wiz khalifa? what time is it? heck, what DAY is it?
    What happened last ye super bowl ?

    black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow

    *groan* The Packers?

    everything I do, I do it big
    yeah, uh huh, screamin that's nothing


    the Steelers lost to the Packers?

    what I pulled off the lot, that's stuntin
    reppin my town when you see me you know everything


    [They call him redundantman defender of justice, blowhard windbag, seriously deluded columnist wannabe, devastatingly handsome all applicable descriptions all making sense in the proper frame of reference. But what didnt make sense was Wiz Khalifa.]

    Where are you hiding Wiz?

    I put it down from the whip to my diamonds I'm in

    [The grip of off-season hibernation relents slowly, moreso after that final loss of the year. The need for clarity mandates the need for silence; and the comfort provided by the esteemed Mr. Khalifa would soon be a regrettable casualty of the haze that our hero awoke into.]

    black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow

    [Redundantman finds the source of the music. The ipod is silenced; rescued from the floor, salvaged from the wreckage of what one must assume to be a long-over Super Bowl night.]

    What the?... where am I?

    [Redundantman was used to the hibernation. He was used to the confines of his secret lair. But he was not used to this room nor to the lingering fog that made it so hard for him to return to life this time. Typically the fanatic sleep protected and extended, prepared him for the next season. After all, people depended on him. They needed him. Sure, there was a price. But there always was a price asked of those who were different wasnt there?]

    [an empty bottle catches RMs eye.]

    Jamesons? Always been a pathetic light-weight
    Lockout! What happened to the lockout? Did they not get a deal done?

    [Our hero spots a nearby laptop computer. Not knowing who it belonged to doesnt seem to bother him. Conveniently connected via wireless and graced with a bandwidth-rich connection, redundantman is on the intarwebs immediately, absorbing the various RSS feeds that have stacked up during his restoration.]

    Goodell got it done after all, huh? Good for him.

    [The relevant news stories scroll by as RM receives months worth of updates in a manner of minutes.]

    Plexico got out of jail and onto the Jets? Good for him.

    Hines Ward won Dancing with the Stars, huh? Good for him.

    Kim Kardashian got married, huh? Good for her.

    Egypt bleah ..
    Libya who cares?
    Osama who? I thought he died from kidney failure years ago on that trip to Candy Mountain

    [A link catches RMs attention. He clicks ]

    Wait a minute, who put naked ladies on the internet?! Why didnt anyone TELL me?

    [the camera draws away as the music rises the screen darkens and the following text scrolls across the screen]
    And so another year of the NFL begins.
    The Guardians awake and begin their tireless patrol in pursuit of a better game, a truer NFL experience.
    An NFL experience marked by all that is right and good: like Ravens losses and Cowboys losses and Tom Brady hair weaves.
    Above all, the game mattered.
    And it was his job to see that it was enjoyed.
    Stay tuned weekly for the adventures of Redundantman.

    1. Week 1 the Steelers couldnt do anything right. Weeks 2 and 3 the Steelers look either unstoppable (against the dream team)


    Snicker .

    Or full of explosive talent (against the Falcons)


    R.I.P. Matty Eyes.

    2. Even more troubling, the Steelers defense has been making it look easy. Hampton, Keisel and Smith across the front. What is the over-under on number of weeks those three actually start together?

    3. Antonio Brown is the new Mike Wallace who was the new Randle El.

    4. The Falcons QBs WERE told to NOT throw the ball to the Steelers people right? How many passes did the Steelers almost pick off in that game?


    Kneel before Bob Bratkowski!

    5. In the first quarter, with three shots from the 5, the Steelers O couldnt get in. The Falcons D looks respectable all of a sudden.

    6. Pouncey, Keenan Lewis, Leftwich, Hampton how many Steelers players were carted off?

    7. Who the hell names their kid Swayze?


    Yeah, yeah this guy.

    8. Interesting point about kickoffs early in the year science tells us that most of the kickoffs will go into the end zone. Resulting in touchbacks and boring special teams. As the weather gets colder I would think this will stop being the case. So by then all the teams will be out of practice properly covering kicks - which could make special teams even more exciting at just the right time of the season.

    9. So, Hines Ward + Antonio Brown + Mike Wallace = ?

    10. Troy seems up to speed. The entire Steelers defense was flowing to the ball.

    11. Lefty is more than a nickname now.

    12. Antonio Brown lights them up, does a little Hines Ward dance. 4 recs 137 yds and 2 TDs. Hey look! Theres a nice comfy spot on the bench! Why don't you have a seat Mr. Brown?

    13. The young CB takes it to the house ... gets tired on the way. Young CBs should be in better shape than that. Send in the Shakeweight!



    14. The Falcons were taking shots downfield and not connecting on any of them. It reminds me of Big Ben and his flaky touch on the longball.

    15. Ive never been so glad to watch crappy football in all of my life. Bless the noble Roger Goodell and his minions for getting this 10 year deal done.

    16. Perspective: Preseason blah blah blah injuries blah blah blah. The Steelers will be as good as their health allows them to be. The pundits consistently put the Steelers, Patriots, Ravens, Jets and Chargers at the head of the AFC. I take much more joy out of watching the Steelers making it a reality than I do in listening to people prognosticate about it. Let the football begin!

  2. #2
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Quote Originally Posted by redundantman
    [i][interior morning]

    15. Ive never been so glad to watch crappy football in all of my life. Bless the noble Roger Goodell and his minions for getting this 10 year deal done.

    I threw up in the back of my throat a little bit here.
    Steel City Mafia
    So Cal Boss (Ret)
    [URL]http://www.anewsong.com[/URL]


    My son's first Kansas Turkey!

  3. #3
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    2. Even more troubling, the Steelers defense has been making it look easy. Hampton, Keisel and Smith across the front. What is the over-under on number of weeks those three actually start together?
    The only thing I saw "easy" was Matt Ryan piling up 266 yards against our secondary.

    There is real reason to have concern about James Harrison. He was invisible Saturday night. Beginning of the end for him??????????

  4. #4
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Quote Originally Posted by Oviedo
    2. Even more troubling, the Steelers defense has been making it look easy. Hampton, Keisel and Smith across the front. What is the over-under on number of weeks those three actually start together?
    The only thing I saw "easy" was Matt Ryan piling up 266 yards against our secondary.

    There is real reason to have concern about James Harrison. He was invisible Saturday night. Beginning of the end for him??????????
    with 40+ passes he should have been WELL over 300 yards. oh and more than 10 points.


  5. #5
    Legend

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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Another season of blessed redundancy is upon us!

    Kudos for the 12-year-old-Tom-Brady avatar, the pic of Carlton Banks with Drew Brees (not Matt Ryan...Matty Ice is too cool to have the nastiest QB cheek since Kordell Stewart), the reference to Charlie the Unicorn and the Magical Liopleurodon, and the epic Swayze minotaur tat.

    "The Terrible Towel is poised to strike...and boy, did he strike!" -Myron Cope

  6. #6
    Legend

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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Anyone see Whisenhunt Khalifa at the MTV VMA's last night wearing his black and yellow and Steeler ball cap?

    Clearly Roger Goodell has an in with MTV so he could ensure Wiz didn't get an award since he's a Steelers fan.

  7. #7
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Quote Originally Posted by Oviedo
    2. Even more troubling, the Steelers defense has been making it look easy. Hampton, Keisel and Smith across the front. What is the over-under on number of weeks those three actually start together?
    The only thing I saw "easy" was Matt Ryan piling up 266 yards against our secondary.

    There is real reason to have concern about James Harrison. He was invisible Saturday night. Beginning of the end for him??????????
    As long as the points don't pile up I'm good!

    Get used to it.
    ILB
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  8. #8
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Love the redundant thoughts.

    The screenplay? Um, I like the redundant thoughts very much.

    steelblood
    Even if Bill Belichick was getting an atomic wedgie, his face would look exactly the same.

  9. #9
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    The defense gave up a lot of small plays (Matt Ryan's YPA was an anemic 5.2 ); the bothersome part was not being able to get off the field on 3rd and long. That could be the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.

    The Falcons completely eliminated the run from their playbook and threw the ball 42 times. If you have a respectable 7 YPA Ryan would have had 298 yards, a good YPA of 8 and he has 336 yards and elite YPA of 8.5 and better and he has 357 at a minimum. The fact he only had 220 yards is good for the Steeler defense.

    Pappy


    The referee said that you hit Brian Sipe too hard. Did you hit him too hard?
    I hit him as hard as I could - Jack Lambert

    1.28 Edmunds, Terrell, S, VA Tech
    2.60 Washington, James, WR, OSU
    3.76 Rudolph, Mason, QB, OSU
    3.92 Okorafor, Chukwuma, OT, W.Mich
    5.148 Allen, Marcus, S, PSU
    5.165 Samuels, Jaylen, RB, NC State
    7.246 Frazier, Joshua, DT, Alabama

  10. #10
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    Re: Redundant Thoughts 2011 Preseason Week 3 Falcons

    Quote Originally Posted by papillon
    The defense gave up a lot of small plays (Matt Ryan's YPA was an anemic 5.2 ); the bothersome part was not being able to get off the field on 3rd and long. That could be the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.

    The Falcons completely eliminated the run from their playbook and threw the ball 42 times. If you have a respectable 7 YPA Ryan would have had 298 yards, a good YPA of 8 and he has 336 yards and elite YPA of 8.5 and better and he has 357 at a minimum. The fact he only had 220 yards is good for the Steeler defense.

    Pappy
    3rd and whatever has always been a problem IMO.
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