Sorry for the bummer thread and I'm not really asking for feedback or anything like that but, I need to air my thoughts.
My friend John died yesterday and it shouldn't have happened. He was diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks ago but, they said with chemo and all that he would be around for a while. Of all things he died of a heartattack while playing with his grandchildren. I'm 48 and I've known him, worked with him and ran around together since I was 22 years old. John was 16 years older than me and he was not only a co-worker but a friend, brother and dad. I would tell my other friends, " John is the total package " We can laugh together, work together, yell at each other and me to get brotherly or fatherly advice.
I remember one time we were working together and installing a vinyl roll up door in some mill. We were three scaffolds high with the scaffold on floors of metal grates. Not only were we on scaffolds we were also on ladders, real OSHA approval. Anyway, I'm reading out loud the instructions for the final assembly and as I'm reading I said, " each side of the door gets a retainer clip." Just as I said it I dropped one and it went off the scaffold threw the metal grate into a drum of oil. I looked over to John and said, " your clip fell into the drum of oil. " He asked why I knew it was his clip that fell and I replied, " mine is still in my hand. " It wasn't so funny but we laughed like it was and those were the kind of days that we had together.
I'm telling anyone that reads this how I feel about him because I should have let him know how much I thought about him and now I can't. I'm also feeling guilty because he was a better friend to me than I was to him. John was always johnny on the spot and without asking. He was like that for everyone and I think at times he got the raw end of the deal by many or just taken advantaged of. All the same, he probably couldn't care less because he was just the great of a guy.
While playing with his grandchildren he fell asleep and wouldn't wake up they told Johns wife as she was cleaning the kids toys from their outside deck.
He was a smart, smart, smart man and I am broken over his loss and that I can't say goodbye. Even when he was younger he was kind like my grandfather and I often thought of him as my grandfather. The world lost a special person yesterday and I wanted as many people to know.