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Thread: My Friend Passed Away.

  1. #1
    Hall of Famer fezziwig's Avatar
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    My Friend Passed Away.

    Sorry for the bummer thread and I'm not really asking for feedback or anything like that but, I need to air my thoughts.

    My friend John died yesterday and it shouldn't have happened. He was diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks ago but, they said with chemo and all that he would be around for a while. Of all things he died of a heartattack while playing with his grandchildren. I'm 48 and I've known him, worked with him and ran around together since I was 22 years old. John was 16 years older than me and he was not only a co-worker but a friend, brother and dad. I would tell my other friends, " John is the total package " We can laugh together, work together, yell at each other and me to get brotherly or fatherly advice.
    I remember one time we were working together and installing a vinyl roll up door in some mill. We were three scaffolds high with the scaffold on floors of metal grates. Not only were we on scaffolds we were also on ladders, real OSHA approval. Anyway, I'm reading out loud the instructions for the final assembly and as I'm reading I said, " each side of the door gets a retainer clip." Just as I said it I dropped one and it went off the scaffold threw the metal grate into a drum of oil. I looked over to John and said, " your clip fell into the drum of oil. " He asked why I knew it was his clip that fell and I replied, " mine is still in my hand. " It wasn't so funny but we laughed like it was and those were the kind of days that we had together.

    I'm telling anyone that reads this how I feel about him because I should have let him know how much I thought about him and now I can't. I'm also feeling guilty because he was a better friend to me than I was to him. John was always johnny on the spot and without asking. He was like that for everyone and I think at times he got the raw end of the deal by many or just taken advantaged of. All the same, he probably couldn't care less because he was just the great of a guy.
    While playing with his grandchildren he fell asleep and wouldn't wake up they told Johns wife as she was cleaning the kids toys from their outside deck.
    He was a smart, smart, smart man and I am broken over his loss and that I can't say goodbye. Even when he was younger he was kind like my grandfather and I often thought of him as my grandfather. The world lost a special person yesterday and I wanted as many people to know.

  2. #2

    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    I'm sorry for your loss, Fezz. Sounds like it was a lot of peoples' loss, and that is really the true measure of a man.

    Regards -

    SASF


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  3. #3
    Legend fordfixer's Avatar
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    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    My thought's and prayer's are with you and his family. I'm sorry for your loss

    Molon labe

    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. George Orwell



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  4. #4

    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    My condolences, Fezz. losing someone you care about, like a family member is tough, but losing a friend is just, well, different. Somehow, it hits home closer than you would like it to. Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss, brother.

  5. #5
    Hall of Famer Djfan's Avatar
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    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    Sorry Sir! That's tough. My honest condolences.
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  6. #6
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    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    Very sorry for your loss.

  7. #7

    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. That brought a tear to my eye because part of that story rings familiar. I remember the guilt I felt when my best friend (more like a brother than a friend) was killed in a car accident. He was a better friend to me than I was to him. I also didn't tell him how much he meant to me. I have to believe that I will get to tell him someday. I also know from experience you can't hang onto the guilt. It's better to focus on your friendship and the good times. If you hang onto guilt it keeps you from processing his death properly. I'm sure he knew how much he meant to you.

  8. #8
    Hall of Famer fezziwig's Avatar
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    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    Thanks guys, your words mean a lot to me.

  9. #9
    Legend RuthlessBurgher's Avatar
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    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    There is never a good time to die for someone who leaves us too soon, but it is hard to imagine that such a man could conceive of a more enjoyable experience for his last moments on earth than to be playing with his grandchildren. At the very least, that could be considered to be somewhat of a blessing. Although it is likely difficult for those kids now, their lasting impression of their grandfather will almost assurdly be of someone who truly cared about them.

  10. #10

    Re: My Friend Passed Away.

    I've also lost some friends without having ever said goodbye or otherwise expressing clearly their value to me. Yet I have to think they probably knew just the same and based on the relationship you described with John, I'd guess he knew how you felt. My condolences to you and John's family.

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