As a father...

[feltdizz]

All parents please tell your kids to PM cruzer8 so he can tell them to stop asking questions until a verdict is handed down. Surely that will stop the "why's and how comes" from entering your kids brain!

[flippy]

Maybe we should be teaching no violence is acceptable. On the field, off the field, men against men, men against women, women against men, etc.

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Kids really screw up all the fun stuff in life.

If it wasn't for having to teach kids stuff, no one would have to go to church.

Life would be so much easier.

Probably because it wouldn't exist without reproduction.

[Chadman]

I don't envy any of you that have to answer thesetions from your children regarding this. You know why? Becaues it's hard explaining this to adults, let alone children.

The 'what you should do's' & 'here's how to do it's' have been played to death. Do whatever works best for you.

Here is the kicker though- if your kids now believe that Ben/Santonio etc are guilty because they hear it through the media, how will you explain it if the charges are dropped? Things just get tougher to explain if there are vindictive, money-grabbing people involved.

And here is the question I would put to all of you- given the situation is that you have to explain this stuff to your kids, are you upset with Ben/Santonio for being accused, or for the media for releasing information, damning information that they know will be spread throughout all news outlets (like a name), when at this stage, it's all accusation- no charges being laid?

If Ben/Santonio's names were not released- do you have to explain this stuff to the Pappy Juniors of the world?

[Shawn]

I'm not sure I understand the distress over explaining unacceptable behavior by others. I try to raise my children by example and I explain there are many ways to live one's life. Some people choose illegal, violent, and sick ways to exist. These ways are not condusive to a happy, productive life. My gals nod their head. Who knows if they get it yet but I do try to explain contrast as the questions will come from somewhere. All you can do in the end is hope you were a good example and your children adhere to the values you taught.

[Steel Life]

All you can do in the end is hope you were a good example and your children adhere to the values you taught.

Well said Shawn...

I've got two, a 12 year-old son & a 9 year-old daughter, & they are being raised as rabid Steeler fans - not Ben fans, not Santonio fans, just Steeler fans. As for the legal troubles of the players, both on our team & others, we don't focus on it at all because the wife & I have kept them from idolizing them, instead getting them to look to us or others closer to their level to emulate. When we do encourage them to look at sport stars, we do so deliberately & usually because of some example we'd like for them to appreciate - Federer for his sportsmanship, Danica for breaking barriers, Myron Rolle for balancing education & athletics, Tebow for his overall example, etc.

But my son has asked me about it & I've explained it & the implications as concisely as possible without being dramatic or biased in either direction. But the reality for us is that I have to explain this less than I have to explain other crap like Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, Brittany Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton & "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. In the end you have to remain ever vigilant from any undue influence that may compromise your children - regardless of it's source.

[feltdizz]

I don't envy any of you that have to answer thesetions from your children regarding this. You know why? Becaues it's hard explaining this to adults, let alone children.

The 'what you should do's' & 'here's how to do it's' have been played to death. Do whatever works best for you.

Here is the kicker though- if your kids now believe that Ben/Santonio etc are guilty because they hear it through the media, how will you explain it if the charges are dropped? Things just get tougher to explain if there are vindictive, money-grabbing people involved.

And here is the question I would put to all of you- given the situation is that you have to explain this stuff to your kids, are you upset with Ben/Santonio for being accused, or for the media for releasing information, damning information that they know will be spread throughout all news outlets (like a name), when at this stage, it's all accusation- no charges being laid?

If Ben/Santonio's names were not released- do you have to explain this stuff to the Pappy Juniors of the world?

Chadman.. you keep harping on the names being released but this is the world we live in when it comes to sports. It's unrealistic to ask if the names weren't released when you are dealing with public figures..

Just wondering if you were bothered by Bungles and Ravens names being released...

It's not a brand new tactic used only to smear Steeler players.

[Chadman]

I don't envy any of you that have to answer thesetions from your children regarding this. You know why? Becaues it's hard explaining this to adults, let alone children.

The 'what you should do's' & 'here's how to do it's' have been played to death. Do whatever works best for you.

Here is the kicker though- if your kids now believe that Ben/Santonio etc are guilty because they hear it through the media, how will you explain it if the charges are dropped? Things just get tougher to explain if there are vindictive, money-grabbing people involved.

And here is the question I would put to all of you- given the situation is that you have to explain this stuff to your kids, are you upset with Ben/Santonio for being accused, or for the media for releasing information, damning information that they know will be spread throughout all news outlets (like a name), when at this stage, it's all accusation- no charges being laid?

If Ben/Santonio's names were not released- do you have to explain this stuff to the Pappy Juniors of the world?

Chadman.. you keep harping on the names being released but this is the world we live in when it comes to sports. It's unrealistic to ask if the names weren't released when you are dealing with public figures..

Just wondering if you were bothered by Bungles and Ravens names being released...

It's not a brand new tactic used only to smear Steeler players.

This isn't something I've stuck to since the Steelers were involved- it's how I feel about the liberties that the media take with people's lives. Ask yourself this- is Ray Lewis guilty of killing people? We here quite often refer to him as a killer, yet he's innocent in the eyes of the law. By naming a person, celebrity or not, you convict them to many people's judgement. It's wrong, and unfair, and simply has to be stopped. It is easy to just say "that's the media"- but that is the attitude that the media hope you have- that way nobody will ever pull them into line.

If nobody is named by the media- then you bypass trial by media.

[Shawn]

All you can do in the end is hope you were a good example and your children adhere to the values you taught.

Well said Shawn...

I've got two, a 12 year-old son & a 9 year-old daughter, & they are being raised as rabid Steeler fans - not Ben fans, not Santonio fans, just Steeler fans. As for the legal troubles of the players, both on our team & others, we don't focus on it at all because the wife & I have kept them from idolizing them, instead getting them to look to us or others closer to their level to emulate. When we do encourage them to look at sport stars, we do so deliberately & usually because of some example we'd like for them to appreciate - Federer for his sportsmanship, Danica for breaking barriers, Myron Rolle for balancing education & athletics, Tebow for his overall example, etc.

But my son has asked me about it & I've explained it & the implications as concisely as possible without being dramatic or biased in either direction. But the reality for us is that I have to explain this less than I have to explain other crap like Charlie Sheen, Tiger Woods, Brittany Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton & "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. In the end you have to remain ever vigilant from any undue influence that may compromise your children - regardless of it's source.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[feltdizz]

I don't envy any of you that have to answer thesetions from your children regarding this. You know why? Becaues it's hard explaining this to adults, let alone children.

The 'what you should do's' & 'here's how to do it's' have been played to death. Do whatever works best for you.

Here is the kicker though- if your kids now believe that Ben/Santonio etc are guilty because they hear it through the media, how will you explain it if the charges are dropped? Things just get tougher to explain if there are vindictive, money-grabbing people involved.

And here is the question I would put to all of you- given the situation is that you have to explain this stuff to your kids, are you upset with Ben/Santonio for being accused, or for the media for releasing information, damning information that they know will be spread throughout all news outlets (like a name), when at this stage, it's all accusation- no charges being laid?

If Ben/Santonio's names were not released- do you have to explain this stuff to the Pappy Juniors of the world?

Chadman.. you keep harping on the names being released but this is the world we live in when it comes to sports. It's unrealistic to ask if the names weren't released when you are dealing with public figures..

Just wondering if you were bothered by Bungles and Ravens names being released...

It's not a brand new tactic used only to smear Steeler players.

This isn't something I've stuck to since the Steelers were involved- it's how I feel about the liberties that the media take with people's lives. Ask yourself this- is Ray Lewis guilty of killing people? We here quite often refer to him as a killer, yet he's innocent in the eyes of the law. By naming a person, celebrity or not, you convict them to many people's judgement. It's wrong, and unfair, and simply has to be stopped. It is easy to just say "that's the media"- but that is the attitude that the media hope you have- that way nobody will ever pull them into line.

If nobody is named by the media- then you bypass trial by media.

I don't think Ray Lewis is a killer... but on this board he is referred to as a murderer...

When you sign the dotted line of celebrity/athlete I think you sign your name over to the media... this is also why they have media days and access to athletes we can't get.

The price of fame is high... don't cash the checks if you don't want the extra burden...

[steelblood]

I'm not sure I understand the distress over explaining unacceptable behavior by others. I try to raise my children by example and I explain there are many ways to live one's life. Some people choose illegal, violent, and sick ways to exist. These ways are not condusive to a happy, productive life. My gals nod their head. Who knows if they get it yet but I do try to explain contrast as the questions will come from somewhere. All you can do in the end is hope you were a good example and your children adhere to the values you taught.

It is distressing for some (most?) kids to try to begin understand sex, sexuality, and violence toward women all at once especially as they may be interrelated here. If keeping it simple for you works, that's great. But, these are complicated issues for my 8 and 10 year old. If you add into it that football happens to be a great passion for my boys, it becomes difficult for them to understand all of the motivations and urges involved. I can't get away with the "there is a bad path and a good path" speech here. It is a great starting point, but there are too many gray areas that they have questions about. Besides, most people do very good and very bad things in their lives.