As a father...

[steelblood]

Haha, sucks to be you!
My boys are 5, 2 and 6 months in utero.

My boys still idolize me. I'm the King baby!

Piper will likely be paid soon however...

You have your hands full in an entirely different manner.

[hawaiiansteel]

and I thought it was hard parenting in the Clinton era and having to explain to my 9 year old girl what a BJ was.

I swear it keeps getting tougher and tougher to be a parent.

and you of course explained to your daughter that BJ's is a great place to shop?

[feltdizz]

Accused, charged, convicted, found innocent it doesn't really matter, that's splitting hairs. They realize there is the potential that Ben did something untoward to this woman, be she a money grubbing tramp or Rhodes Scholar with an impeccable reputation and they want to know why.

Kids aren't nearly as stupid as some adults would like to think and they pay attention to adults a lot more than you believe. No one said being a parent or an adult would be easy and it isn't. Many adults aren't willing to do the necessary things to set an appropriate example of how to behave.

Pappy

That's the key word right there. There is no proof yet that he has done anything wrong.

Proof is irrelevant to a child that now has heard twice in the last year Ben Roethlisberger is linked in some fashion with behavior that is boorish at best and criminal at worst. We've explained to both boys that there haven't been any charges filed at this point in time and they understand that to the degree that they can. It still doesn't eliminate from their minds wondering why Ben continues to find himself in these predicaments. Talk is cheap in this instance.

Pappy

exactly... the whole accused, potential, charged, guilt vs innocent is of little importance to a kid. This is what frustrates me about the Ben case... it's not about guilt or innocence IMO. It's about perception and our players are getting a lot of negative press right now.

[ikestops85]

and I thought it was hard parenting in the Clinton era and having to explain to my 9 year old girl what a BJ was.

I swear it keeps getting tougher and tougher to be a parent.

and you of course explained to your daughter that BJ's is a great place to shop?

Good one ... I only wish I was that quick.

[flippy]

Maybe we should be teaching no violence is acceptable. On the field, off the field, men against men, men against women, women against men, etc.

[birtikidis]

I'm not a father, but when I was teaching my students lessons in history (i was a history teacher) I always stressed that even good people do bad things, and that even doing something stupid one time can effect you the rest of your life. You should also stress that each person makes their own choices, good or bad, and those choices will define who you are.

[steelblood]

Maybe we should be teaching no violence is acceptable. On the field, off the field, men against men, men against women, women against men, etc.

Coming from the guy with the psychotic Ronald McDonald in his sig.

[Shoe]

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Just tell them these guys ability to play football has nothing to do with what kind of guy they are... it's better that they learn that now anyway. You and I grew up within that other world (where athletes were looked up to). As adults, we now realize how silly it is (to hold these guys to another pedestal, other than as a good player).

In fact, if it lessens the kid's love of the Steelers/pro football, that's a good development. If he/she learns to keep it in proper perspective at a young age, better for hm/hr.

[RuthlessBurgher]

Maybe we should be teaching no violence is acceptable. On the field, off the field, men against men, men against women, women against men, etc.

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[cruzer8]

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

If you read my original post, you would have seen that I did explain that.

But, as Pappy pointed out, you are failing to understand the point here. They simply want to know why "someone" (meaning anyone not necessarily even Ben or Holmes) would assault a woman. Even if these two are innocent of all of these allegations, it doesn't change the fact the kids want to understand why a man would hurt a woman. And, since the accused is a big time football star whom they like and not a career criminal, it is tough for them to understand what the motivation could be.

Because sometimes people do bad things. Now keep in mind boys, Ben has been accused of something. There is no proof that he's done anything.

Glad I could help.