Most Fierce NFL Mascot Competition: Steely McBeam vs. Pat Patriot
By J. Darin Darst
Tell J. Darin your opinion!
No. 9 Pittsburgh vs. No. 8 New England
Which NFL mascot is the most fierce?
Let's get one thing straight right before the nasty e-mails flood my inbox.
We did not forget to post a picture of Steely McBeam.
We are not anti-Steelers or Patriot lovers either. (Truth be told, I'm a Steelers fan!) But it's hard to have a NFL mascot contest when a certain team doesn't give you access to a photo of their own mascot!
The Steelers said because Steely McBeam is so new, they would like to give him another year or two before they put him out there for a popularity contest. I think we all know the response to that -- Cattle dung!
Let me tell you what they really wanted to say -- "Not many people like Steely, so it's probably not a good idea to put him in a contest where he's going to be made fun of and humiliated." Well too bad, because not only is he in the contest, but we are going to make fun of him too. If you are not of huge sports fan or don't know the history of Pittsburgh Steelers football you are probably asking yourself why doesn't anybody like this mascot?
You have to go to a real expert for the answer -- somebody who lives, eats and breathes Steelers football. Somebody named ... Stinky.
"The whole fact that this team, who prides itself on blue-collar, hard-noise, no gimmicky football, has to have a mascot … It feels like it was forced upon us by the NFL and their marketing engine," said the man behind the website and sports blog [url="http://www.steelymcstupid.com"]http://www.steelymcstupid.com[/url].
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette named him one of the cities dishonorable mentions of 2007, right up there with business executives charged with fraud. And in an online poll, the mascot got only a 10 percent approval rating after more than 33,000 votes.
Does anybody like this mascot?
"Anyone under the age 2 that is happy and giddy about anything that's big and yellow like Big Bird is happy to see him, but anyone old enough to name a player on the team ... it's hatred all the way," added Stinky. "This is such a town of 'what your father did, you did.' You hear your old man saying it's ridiculous and not Steelers football and that's what you believe once your are able to talk."
You can see now why the team didn't want to lend us a photo.
Don't expect Steely to advance to the next round, but just for fun, we'll let you decide. Steely takes on Pat Patriot in the first round. That's three-time Super Bowl champion Pat Patriot. He is supposed to resemble a minuteman, a member of the American militia during the Revolutionary War.
That's an American hero vs. a construction worker that is nowhere to be found. Just don't ask Pat about a third video camera at Gillette Stadium.
I wish it was football season already