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Thread: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

  1. #51
    Hall of Famer Djfan's Avatar
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    4,374

    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    Quote Originally Posted by LasVegasGuy
    Whew! For a minute there DJ I thought you might be heading down a wrong path.
    It's happened.
    Steel City Mafia
    So Cal Boss (Ret)
    http://www.anewsong.com


    My son's first Kansas Turkey!

  2. #52
    BIG FAN
    Guest

    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    Quote Originally Posted by NC Steeler Fan
    You know, being a childless female over 40, I swear I feel more
    outta place on THIS thread than I ever have on ANY football related
    discussion!

    Nevertheless, I salute all you forebearers of S.F.N.G....

    ...STEELERS FANS...NEXT GENERATION!!!

    Good work men!
    As we have no flock either, great sentiment on an excellent thread.

  3. #53
    Legend fordfixer's Avatar
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    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I found this for you dads with daughter's good luck

    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
    accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
    and current medical report from your doctor.

    NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

    HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

    SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

    BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

    HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

    Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
    Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
    If No, explain:
    __________________________________________________ ____________

    Number of years they have been married ______________________________

    If less than your age, explain
    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________


    ACCESSORIES SECTION:

    A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

    B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

    C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

    D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

    E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

    F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
    pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

    (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
    AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


    ESSAY SECTION:

    In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________


    REFERENCES SECTION:

    Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

    How often you attend ________________________________________________

    When would be the best time to interview your:

    father? _____________

    mother? _____________

    pastor? _____________


    SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

    Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
    are confidential.

    A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    C: A woman's place is in the:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

    I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
    THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
    NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
    WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


    __________________________________________________ _______
    Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Mother's Signature Father's Signature

    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

    Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
    non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

    You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
    not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
    cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
    notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
    (you might watch your back)

    Molon labe

    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. George Orwell



    American metal pimped by asiansteel
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you 1. Jesus Christ, 2.The American G.I., One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

  4. #54
    Hall of Famer AngryAsian's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    3,014

    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    Quote Originally Posted by fordfixer
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I found this for you dads with daughter's good luck

    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
    accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
    and current medical report from your doctor.

    NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

    HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

    SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

    BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

    HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

    Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
    Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
    If No, explain:
    __________________________________________________ ____________

    Number of years they have been married ______________________________

    If less than your age, explain
    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________


    ACCESSORIES SECTION:

    A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

    B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

    C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

    D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

    E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

    F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
    pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

    (IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
    AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


    ESSAY SECTION:

    In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________


    REFERENCES SECTION:

    Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

    How often you attend ________________________________________________

    When would be the best time to interview your:

    father? _____________

    mother? _____________

    pastor? _____________


    SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

    Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
    are confidential.

    A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    C: A woman's place is in the:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

    I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
    THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
    NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
    WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


    __________________________________________________ _______
    Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Mother's Signature Father's Signature

    _______________________________ ________________________________
    Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

    Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
    non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

    You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
    not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
    cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
    notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
    (you might watch your back)


    Absolutely brilliant. Thank you, FF.

  5. #55
    Legend RuthlessBurgher's Avatar
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    May 2008
    Location
    Where the Rubber Meets the Road (in NEPA)
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    21,256

    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    Hillary Clinton kiss torture. Eww...

    On a similar note, I received the following e-mail recently:

    A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

    One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

    After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

    A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

    The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again..

    He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

    He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

  6. #56

    Re: OT: The Next Generation Addition to the Nation

    Classic.
    BnB Mock 2014
    1. Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
    2. Allen Robinson, WR, Penn State
    3. Dominique Easley, DT, Florida
    4. Phillip Gaines, CB, Rice
    5. Jordan Zumwalt, ILB, UCLA
    5. Jerick McKinnon, RB, Georgia Southern
    6. Prince Shembo, OLB, Notre Dame
    6. Beau Allen, NT, Wisconsin
    7. Shaquille Richardson, CB, Arizona (went to BnB's Los Alamitos High School)


    Another AS masterpiece.

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