Slapstick
01-22-2015, 09:03 AM
Roger Goodell is conflicted, my people.
On the one hand, he must protect the Patriots at all costs. On the other hand, he feels an obsessive need to strike down any and all who dare to bring negative media attention upon the league...and there is a $#!+pot of negative media attention right now...
Imagine the warring Prime Directives in his soulless, positronic brain.
Goodell: "Bobby (Kraft), Billy (Belicheat), Tommy (Brady)...you all know that we are BFFs. You also know that I don't care what rules you break. Hell, I had evidence destroyed for you, right? But...I've kind of painted myself in a corner. I shipped Sean Payton and Gregg Williams off for a whole year! And those guys didn't even do anything that affected the play of an actual game! Unless I do something significant the media will never leave this alone. In the annual, massive pre-Super Bowl media blitz, this will be all that anyone talks, writes, blogs, tweets, instagrams or snapchats about. I'm just sorry that I couldn't cover for you anymore or get you that 4th Super Bowl ring before this all happened. God knows I tried..."
On the one hand, he must protect the Patriots at all costs. On the other hand, he feels an obsessive need to strike down any and all who dare to bring negative media attention upon the league...and there is a $#!+pot of negative media attention right now...
Imagine the warring Prime Directives in his soulless, positronic brain.
Goodell: "Bobby (Kraft), Billy (Belicheat), Tommy (Brady)...you all know that we are BFFs. You also know that I don't care what rules you break. Hell, I had evidence destroyed for you, right? But...I've kind of painted myself in a corner. I shipped Sean Payton and Gregg Williams off for a whole year! And those guys didn't even do anything that affected the play of an actual game! Unless I do something significant the media will never leave this alone. In the annual, massive pre-Super Bowl media blitz, this will be all that anyone talks, writes, blogs, tweets, instagrams or snapchats about. I'm just sorry that I couldn't cover for you anymore or get you that 4th Super Bowl ring before this all happened. God knows I tried..."