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View Full Version : Max Starks Signs Long-Term Deal



Chadman
04-01-2009, 02:57 AM
By Scott Brown Trombone Review

News out of Steelers Headquarters is that starting left tackle Max Starks has signed a 6 year, $105 million dollar deal with a $17.5 million signing bonus.

"The Pittsburgh Steelers are happy to announce that Max will be staying with us on a long term arrangement. He is obviously a key element to our success last season and was rewarded appropriately. He is very excited to be here & is lokoing forward to assuming a leadership role with the Steelers. Omar Khan has worked tirelessly for the last 12 minutes to get this deal worked out- a deal everybody is happy with." said Steelers Kevin Colbert.

"Max was a key player for us down the stretch & proved to be one of the premier offensive lineman in the NFL last season. He's big, moves fast & has cool hair" said Head Coach Mike Tomlin.

"I always knew Max would be paid his worth" said Max Starks' mother- Maureen Starks.

When asked of his reaction to his new contract, Starks said "bout time"- obviously referring to the bad taste left in his mouth after not beating Marvel Smith out in training camp last off season.

Starks looked to be bigger in the press conference & said "I'm aiming to be the biggest man in the NFL. I'm at 410lbs right now- I'm hoping for 450lbs by training camp"

More details to follow.

Oracle
04-01-2009, 03:45 AM
F--- me.

I hope it's back loaded.

Snatch98
04-01-2009, 05:38 AM
lol

Flasteel
04-01-2009, 06:47 AM
Check the date on your calendar before you freak out.

BURGH86STEEL
04-01-2009, 07:14 AM
Check the date on your calendar before you freak out.

At least he got one person to fall for it :lol:

phillyesq
04-01-2009, 07:14 AM
Well played, Chadman.

Herewegosteelers!
04-01-2009, 07:23 AM
Almost had me,,,,,,,,but then I thought nahhhh because someone already got me today 8)

MeetJoeGreene
04-01-2009, 07:47 AM
He almost had me too... until I say the Trombone Review..

Iron Shiek
04-01-2009, 08:41 AM
Well I couldn't get the thread to open (its been happening alot here at work lately causing me to post less) so I started frantically searching the web for that headline or related news and couldn't find any. I then thought, "Wow, Chadman really has some scoop...did Max send him a heads up on Facebook?"

Finally....I got the thread to open and saw 6 yr 105 million and new it was a joke.

You bastage!

:D

Jom112
04-01-2009, 09:00 AM
I knew it was false when he was only paid $105 Mil for 6 years... :lol:

RuthlessBurgher
04-01-2009, 09:01 AM
http://www.savagechickens.com/images/chickenfools.jpg

I was going to go with the "Now that Dan Rooney is in Ireland as Ambassador, Art II can finally unleash his plan for Steeler cheerleaders in 2009" story instead, but since April Fools comes earlier in Australia than in Pennsylvania, the Chadman beat me to it. If fact, just now, at 9:00 a.m. EST, it just switched over to April 2nd in Sydney, since it is midnight on that side of the world right now.

pfelix73
04-01-2009, 09:47 AM
It's about time they did something right!

:tt1

On a serious note- I wish they would sign him to a long term deal.

SteelBucks
04-01-2009, 10:16 AM
It's about time they did something right!

:tt1

On a serious note- I wish they would sign him to a long term deal.

Since they cut James Harrison (mentioned in another April Fool's thread), they can now spend all of their time focused on Max. :)

ANPSTEEL
04-01-2009, 02:29 PM
you had me at hello...

at least until this:

"I'm aiming to be the biggest man in the NFL. I'm at 410lbs right now- I'm hoping for 450lbs by training camp"

which pretty much gave it away.

although, if I had any real reading comprehension skills... I would have noticed the Trombone Review.

:lol:

Chavezz
04-01-2009, 03:17 PM
I didn't know that Australia had April?? I thought you guys had a different calendar than we did?

MeetJoeGreene
04-01-2009, 03:43 PM
I didn't know that Australia had April?? I thought you guys had a different calendar than we did?

Correct. April occurs in Australia when we usually have October because the months go counterclockwise down under.

Chadman is just such a renaisance man that he can pull this type of thing off.

Chadman
04-01-2009, 06:10 PM
Hehehe....


So the 410lbs-450lbs gave it away- but no Omar Khan working tirelessly for 12 minutes to get the deal done?? :D