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Jigawatts
11-19-2008, 03:15 PM
James Harrison goes to Burger King and orders a Big Mac... and gets one.


James Harrison doesn't need a bodyguard, bodyguards need James Harrison.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 03:21 PM
Jig, don't know if you saw the thread about "Vote for Harrison", but I put a bunch of Chuck Norris-isms in there but with Harrison's name instead...

I like that one you just posted too, a very good one. Another:


James Harrison wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

or


James Harrison does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

RussBII
11-19-2008, 03:22 PM
Hah! I love these. Here are my all time faves:

When you type "James Harrison" into google and press enter, the lights go out. When they come back on, your wife is pregnant.

James Harrison does not sleep. He waits.

James Harrison challenged John Kruk and Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles contest?" James Harrison won by 5.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 03:25 PM
Here go the ones I put in the Vote for Silverback thread...


1. If you have five dollars and James Harrison has five dollars, James Harrison has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on James Harrison's computer. James Harrison is always in control.
3. Apple pays James Harrison 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. James Harrison can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. James Harrison can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. James Harrison is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. James Harrison destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. James Harrison can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

James Harrison doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures James Harrison has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with James Harrison.

James Harrison does not sleep. He waits.

James Harrison is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

James Harrison is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

James Harrison counted to infinity - twice.

When James Harrison does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. (My favorite)

James Harrison is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. :D

James Harrison's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

James Harrison can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

James Harrison doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

James Harrison can slam a revolving door.

James Harrison does not get frostbite. James Harrison bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching hearing James Harrison was born. (I altered this one a bit)


Russ that one is awesome!

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 03:34 PM
http://bp3.blogger.com/_ZzSeX2ctOaA/Ry_-_7YDoEI/AAAAAAAAAlY/cDXp6RLyK3c/s400/hesafumbler.jpg

Never seen this pic before. Thought it deserved to be in this thread...

"Ed Deer was hit so hard by James Harrison, that the letters on his jersey re-shuffled themselves. He now goes by Ed Reed for fear of getting hit like that again"

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 03:36 PM
http://bp2.blogger.com/_2hUK7D5qk_I/R9R5iOKgpaI/AAAAAAAAASo/ICA7wNFFQWY/s320/James+Harrison.jpg


What's that? You talkin to me!? :x

stlrz d
11-19-2008, 03:50 PM
There are all things great and small...and then there is James Harrison.

(made that one up myself, so if it sucks I'll tell JH you said so). :P

RuthlessBurgher
11-19-2008, 04:05 PM
Brett Favre is not the first player to flirt with retirement and then come back and play.

Jack Lambert played for the Steelers for 10 years. It was awesome. Then he retired. Turf toe he said. Yeah, right. Like that would slow him down.

After a few years off, he was inspired by the movie "Soul Man" starring C. Thomas Howell, and came back to the Steelers as "Greg Lloyd" for 10 more years. It was awesome. Then he retired. Torn patella tendon and staph infection he said. Yeah, right. Like that would slow him down.

After a few more years off, he was further inspired by the movie "Face/Off" starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta, and came back to the Steelers yet again as "James Harrison." It is awesome.

Sure he is having a good season, but imagine what Harrison could do if he weren't a 56 year old white guy who dyed his skin black and then cut his own face off and replaced it with another.

stlrz d
11-19-2008, 04:05 PM
Ah what the hell...I used this one in another thread so I may as well add it.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear itself has nothing to fear but James Harrison.

Mel Blount's G
11-19-2008, 04:06 PM
http://bp2.blogger.com/_2hUK7D5qk_I/R9R5iOKgpaI/AAAAAAAAASo/ICA7wNFFQWY/s320/James+Harrison.jpg
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
The only thing fear itself has to fear is James Harrison.

Mel Blount's G
11-19-2008, 04:07 PM
:lol: Nice. 2x Harrison fear posts

Discipline of Steel
11-19-2008, 04:10 PM
Here go the ones I put in the Vote for Silverback thread...


When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

Russ that one is awesome!

That one is sick! Im so glad to see the love for 92...imagine an MVP from a D!

Ozey74
11-19-2008, 04:15 PM
People will never wet themselves due to being afraid of James Harrision because their pee is too scared to come out.

RuthlessBurgher
11-19-2008, 04:22 PM
When James Harrison sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only this picture:
http://www.post-gazette.com/images3/20051225mf_fbn_fan_takedownPJ_450.jpg
James Harrison has not had to pay taxes ever.

Mel Blount's G
11-19-2008, 04:24 PM
When James Harrison was born the doctor smacked his bottom. James punched him in the mouth. Nobody smacks James Harrison.

Jigawatts
11-19-2008, 04:26 PM
Jig, don't know if you saw the thread about "Vote for Harrison", but I put a bunch of Chuck Norris-isms in there but with Harrison's name instead...


No, I missed it. Ruthless pointed that out about a minute after I started this.

I've been to busy to read everything. :? :x

RuthlessBurgher
11-19-2008, 04:43 PM
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball James Harrison played in second grade.

James Harrison sold his soul to the devil for his incredible football ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, James sacked the devil (with 10 demons holding him and still no flag thrown) and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

James Harrison has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

James Harrison discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which James Harrison is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, James Harrison sacked him. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

James Harrison once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked James Harrison re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to James Harrison and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

There are no races, only countries of people James Harrison has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: James Harrison once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

James Harrison starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

James Harrison invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Brady Quinn invented pink.

When last Sunday's Steeler game was aired in France, the French surrendered to James Harrison just to be on the safe side.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 04:43 PM
Nah...its cool. Its better to be in its own thread. This thing is going to have legs with each dominating performance he delivers.

And like I mentioned in a different thread..i've been hyping him up all week in about 3 or 4 different threads, so its good to consolidate the love to one thread.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 04:46 PM
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball James Harrison played in second grade.

James Harrison sold his soul to the devil for his incredible football ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, James sacked the devil (with 10 demons holding him and still no flag thrown) and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

James Harrison has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Freakin hilarious.

James Harrison discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which James Harrison is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, James Harrison sacked him. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

James Harrison once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked James Harrison re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to James Harrison and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

There are no races, only countries of people James Harrison has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: James Harrison once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

James Harrison starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

James Harrison invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Brady Quinn invented pink.

When last Sunday's Steeler game was aired in France, the French surrendered to James Harrison just to be on the safe side.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 04:52 PM
-When James Harrison wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

-James Harrison plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

-Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take James Harrison to sack you...Fourty seven times.

And I will end on this note:

-James Harrison wipes his a$$ with chain mail and sandpaper.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 04:55 PM
Wait...I found one more...that caused an eruption of laughter from me in my office...

James Harrison needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
:shock:

RKSteel
11-19-2008, 04:55 PM
As my daughter and I were driving to Pittsburgh for the Chargers game, she said if we lived in Pittsburgh, it would be cool to live next to a Steeler player so we could get game tickets. We starting going through which players to live next to. We got to JH and I said yes, but I would be too afraid to ask him for tix, as he is one intimitading dude. After I showed her a picture of him she agreed.

Jigawatts
11-19-2008, 04:57 PM
-When James Harrison wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

That's the winner. :lol:

Of course, there are no winners or losers here. Keep 'em coming.

RuthlessBurgher
11-19-2008, 05:12 PM
-When James Harrison wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

That's the winner. :lol:

Of course, there are no winners or losers here. Keep 'em coming.

The correct response to that post was "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner"

And you call yourself a Pens fan. Sheesh.

RussBII
11-19-2008, 05:12 PM
Hah, some good ones out there.

James Harrison last took a dump in 1992... it was visible from space.

They once made James Harrison brand Toilet Paper. It failed as it wouldn't take sh1t from anyone.

Crop circles are James Harrison's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the F down

James Harrison is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a damn indian.

James Harrison is the only thing standing between you and happiness. I'm sorry.

Ozey74
11-19-2008, 06:08 PM
When James Harrisons car approachs all stoplights, the stoplights instantly turns green. It doesn't matter if the light is red or yellow.

stlrz d
11-19-2008, 08:05 PM
James Harrison stared into the sun and the sun went blind.

James Harrison can turn off the light and put his fist through you before the room becomes dark.

When James Harrison talks E.F. Hutton listens.

James Harrison can start a fire by rubbing Ed Reed and Bart Scott together.

stlrz d
11-19-2008, 10:59 PM
James Harrison writes the songs that make the whole world sing...or else.... :shock:

SteelTorch
11-19-2008, 11:07 PM
How did the Soviet Union fall?

James Harrison slammed it so hard it split into several countries.

Iron Shiek
11-19-2008, 11:32 PM
So Photoshoppers....I don't have the magic powers like y'all...but I seem to like coming up with themes...

Could we parlay this Harrison deal into a photoshop contest? Just put him in epic scenery or some kind of impossible situations that makes him look like a Bad A$$?

Not the greatest idea...but maybe the start of something...

AngryAsian
11-20-2008, 02:42 AM
So Photoshoppers....I don't have the magic powers like y'all...but I seem to like coming up with themes...

Could we parlay this Harrison deal into a photoshop contest? Just put him in epic scenery or some kind of impossible situations that makes him look like a Bad A$$?

Not the greatest idea...but maybe the start of something...


Great Idea!

Chadman
11-20-2008, 08:22 AM
God said, 'Let there be light.' and there was light" [3]

First day: God creates light ("Let there be light!") - the first divine command. The light is divided from the darkness, and "day" and "night" are named.
Second day: God creates a firmament ("Let a firmament be...!") - the second command - to divide the waters above from the waters below. The firmament is named "heavens".
Third day: God commands the waters below to be gathered together in one place, and dry land to appear (the third command). "Earth" and "sea" are named. God commands the earth to bring forth grass, plants, and fruit-bearing trees (the fourth command).
Fourth day: God creates lights in the firmament (the fifth command) to separate light from darkness and to mark days, seasons and years. Two great lights are made (most likely the Sun and Moon, but not named), and the stars.
Fifth day: God commands the sea to "teem with living creatures", and birds to fly across the heavens (sixth command); He creates birds and sea creatures, and commands them to be fruitful and multiply.
Sixth day: God commands the land to bring forth living creatures (seventh command); He makes wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. He then creates Man and Woman in His "image" and "likeness" (eighth command). They are told to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it." Humans and animals are given plants to eat. The totality of creation is described by God as "very good."
Seventh day: God, having completed the heavens and the earth, rests from His work, and blesses and sanctifies the seventh day.


There was a little known Eigth Day that was never recorded.

Upon completion of his Seventh Day's Work, God sat back to look upon his creation. James Harrison came bustin' into God's crib & started hollerin'
" Yo Big G- you done with this sh!t yet? Sure as Hell looks like my turn. Your gonna make a game & you are gonna call it FOOTBALL. Then you're gonna create a team & call it the Steelers & place them in Pittsburgh. Then, you gonna create another team & give them the sh!ttiest name you can think of & put 'em in Cleveland. Then you gonna create the name "BRADY" & I don't give two sh!ts if it's a Christian or Surname, just make the damn name, ok? Because then after that, you gonna create Monday Night Football & I'm gonna rip that sh!t UP Man! You hearin' me G? Because I'm tired of you makin' all this other stuff. It's James Harrison time now, you dig? Now do this or I'm gonna come up in here & raise a little Hell, ok?"

And on the Eigth Day, God created Football...

Chadman
11-20-2008, 08:24 AM
James Harrison is so intimidating, Greg Lloyd become a peace activist to avoid Silverback's steely gaze.

RKSteel
11-20-2008, 08:40 AM
If James Harrison moved in next door to you, your grass would die.

If James Harrison was a country, the number one export would be pain.

MeetJoeGreene
11-20-2008, 08:59 AM
Of course, most of these are adapted from Chuck Norris facts

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

My favorite is:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for James Harrisson.

stlrz d
11-20-2008, 09:07 AM
Of course, most of these are adapted from Chuck Norris facts

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

My favorite is:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for James Harrisson.

I've tried to come up with originals but it's really hard to do. I've read some of the Chuck Norris facts over the years, but not at all recently. If any of them stuck in my brain and I re-used them for JH it wasn't intentional. On your first link there are several pages...I don't have the time right now to go through them and see if I unintentionally lifted any. I hope I didn't!

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 10:29 AM
James Harrison is so intimidating, Greg Lloyd become a peace activist to avoid Silverback's steely gaze.

BLASPHEMY!!!!! :shock: :shock:

But funny :lol: :lol:

SteelerNation1
11-20-2008, 10:33 AM
My favorite is:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for James Harrisson.
Mine too. I laugh EVERYTIME I read that one.

RuthlessBurgher
11-20-2008, 10:48 AM
One day, Jack Lambert, Greg Lloyd, and James Harrison all had to take a leak at the same time. Jack was near the Missouri-Illinois border, Greg was near the New York-Pennsylvania border, and James was near the West Virginia-Pennsylvania border. The Ohio, Allegheny, and Monongahela Rivers were born.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e3/Allegheny_Monongahela_Ohio.jpg/300px-Allegheny_Monongahela_Ohio.jpg

proudpittsburgher
11-20-2008, 11:04 AM
One day, Jack Lambert, Greg Lloyd, and James Harrison all had to take a leak at the same time. Jack was near the Missouri-Illinois border, Greg was near the New York-Pennsylvania border, and James was near the West Virginia-Pennsylvania border. The Ohio, Allegheny, and Monongahela Rivers were born.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e3/Allegheny_Monongahela_Ohio.jpg/300px-Allegheny_Monongahela_Ohio.jpg
:Bow :Clap :Bow :Clap :Bow :Bow :Clap :Bow :Clap

You don't hear Al Michaels telling THAT story on Sunday Night football, now do you?

Iron Shiek
11-20-2008, 11:25 AM
THE CONFLUENCE....OF PI$$$!???

:shock:

RuthlessBurgher
11-20-2008, 11:30 AM
THE CONFLUENCE....OF PI$$$!???

:shock:

Jack Lambert's urine was the main ingredient for BALCO's designer steroids. Therefore, Jack Lambert is actually the all-time single-season home run leader.

Greg Lloyd recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

On the Asian market, James Harrison's urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 11:33 AM
THE CONFLUENCE....OF PI$$$!???

:shock:

Jack Lambert's urine was the main ingredient for BALCO's designer steroids. Therefore, Jack Lambert is actually the all-time single-season home run leader.

Greg Lloyd recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

On the Asian market, James Harrison's urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

AA, can you confirm this???

Funny stuff, RB!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

AngryAsian
11-20-2008, 12:06 PM
AA, can you confirm this???

Funny stuff, RB!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:



Being a rice paddy slum lord takes up too much of my time to get into marketable goods exported from the U.S. But I will say one thing with regards to many references about Chuck Norris, that you Americanos just don't get. Chuck Norris is the biggest puzzy.... period. He's not badder than this man:

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/bruce-lee-im162.jpg


... Let's compare physiques:

Bruce (Ripped Naturally)-

http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm209/swbiv1/bruce-lee.jpg

Chuck (Juiced Up Gay)-

http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A8247/82477/300_82477.jpg


... and let's compare the attire:

Bruce (GQ Coverboy)-

http://www.chine-informations.com/images/upload/Bruce-lee.jpg

Chuck (BrokeBack Stud)-

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/features_popculture_blog/images/2008/03/10/chuckistheman.jpg


... how about workout devices:

Bruce (Nunchuck Nasty)-

http://www.sethskim.com/pics/Bruce%20Lee%202.jpg

Chuck (Total Gym Neighbors)-

http://www.blawgson.com/chuckgym.jpg/chuckgym-full.jpg


So let's not have Chuck Norris even mentioned with the words Bad Azzz. ITS JUST NOT TRUE!!!

Iron Shiek
11-20-2008, 12:44 PM
So let's not have Chuck Norris even mentioned with the words Bad Azzz. ITS JUST NOT TRUE!!!


Yeah man you ain't kidding...just watched Enter the Dragon again recently and just as awesome as the 1st time I watched it...

But Lee doesn't have the Beard of Steel! And both of them don't make this chick: :Boobs pregnant just by clicking on her like James Harrison. So top that!!!! (and no, I'm not asking for a pregnant version of that smiley...just sayin...)

RKSteel
11-20-2008, 01:15 PM
So let's not have Chuck Norris even mentioned with the words Bad Azzz. ITS JUST NOT TRUE!!! Actually, Bruce Lee respected Chuck Norris so much that at the end of Return of the Dragon, Lee didn't want a close up of him defeating Norris during their fight scene.

If James Harrision, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee had a staring contest, the first man that blinked would cause armaggedon.

MeetJoeGreene
11-20-2008, 01:36 PM
OK, these are my attempts at some originals.

James Harrison is so tough he could scare Casey Hampton into losing weight if he wanted to.

When James Harrison breaks wind, the amount of power generated could provide electricity for Australia for a month.

The entire warning label fine print on Viagra reads:


Please consult your physician for erections lasting more than four hours.
Unless you are James Harrison, in which case a four hour erection is totally normal - just bring on the next wench.
And we didn't mean to imply, in any way shape or form that James Harrison would ever need Viagra. Please don't hurt us Mr. Harrison, sir.

Matter can be totally destroyed by only two known processes. The first is through nuclear reactions whereby it is converted to pure energy. The second is a result of a person calling James Harrison by the name of "Jimmy". That person is reduced to pure pain.

Jigawatts
11-20-2008, 02:16 PM
A Jigawatt original....

James Harrison is the reason why death hides behind
a black hooded gown and carries a scythe.

Iron Shiek
11-20-2008, 02:41 PM
What people don't know about Star Wars is that in the alternate ending, the Death Star really exploded because James Harrison took a dump in the cargo hold.

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 03:38 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

Iron Shiek
11-20-2008, 04:05 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 04:13 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)


No joke. I wasn't sure how people would take that. But I remember James saying he was ok with the nickname so I figured I was good. Hope it doesn't offend anyone.

RuthlessBurgher
11-20-2008, 04:59 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)


No joke. I wasn't sure how people would take that. But I remember James saying he was ok with the nickname so I figured I was good. Hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Calling James Harrison "Silverback" is not a racial insult.

It is considered to be great praise among the gorilla communities to have their strongest members be compared to the mighty Harrison.

By the way, I am as white as white could be...and I LOVE fried chicken and watermelon. What's not to like there? :mrgreen:

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 05:02 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)


No joke. I wasn't sure how people would take that. But I remember James saying he was ok with the nickname so I figured I was good. Hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Calling James Harrison "Silverback" is not a racial insult.

It is considered to be great praise among the gorilla communities to have their strongest members be compared to the mighty Harrison.

By the way, I am as white as white could be...and I LOVE fried chicken and watermelon. What's not to like there? :mrgreen:

Who DOESN'T love fried chicken and watermelon?? I also LOVE big butts. About that, I can not lie :oops:

RuthlessBurgher
11-20-2008, 05:05 PM
The term "silverback" was first used 18 years ago when a 12 year old James Harrison backed into a roll down security gate that had just been painted silver. Harrison's friend, Reginald Griffin is quoted as saying, "Hey, now we gonna call you silverback." At that exact moment, Dian Fossey, world famous anthropologist and gorilla expert, happened to be walking by. She noted Harrison's impressive physique and it similarities to the new breed of gorilla she had just discovered but not yet named. The rest is history.

:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)


No joke. I wasn't sure how people would take that. But I remember James saying he was ok with the nickname so I figured I was good. Hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Calling James Harrison "Silverback" is not a racial insult.

It is considered to be great praise among the gorilla communities to have their strongest members be compared to the mighty Harrison.

By the way, I am as white as white could be...and I LOVE fried chicken and watermelon. What's not to like there? :mrgreen:

Who DOESN'T love fried chicken and watermelon?? I also LOVE big butts. About that, I can not lie :oops:

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun :lol:

rpmpit
11-20-2008, 05:14 PM
:wft rpm...i suppose he likes watermelon and fried chicken too you racist...geez!

(By the way I'm totally kidding)


No joke. I wasn't sure how people would take that. But I remember James saying he was ok with the nickname so I figured I was good. Hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Calling James Harrison "Silverback" is not a racial insult.

It is considered to be great praise among the gorilla communities to have their strongest members be compared to the mighty Harrison.

By the way, I am as white as white could be...and I LOVE fried chicken and watermelon. What's not to like there? :mrgreen:

Who DOESN'T love fried chicken and watermelon?? I also LOVE big butts. About that, I can not lie :oops:

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun :lol:

I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

Mel Blount's G
11-20-2008, 05:33 PM
This thread takes a huge left turn to some Joe Walsh lyrics... :Boobs


UH HU
I like big tits
You see em on the street
left and right
I like big tits that's right
I try to look away but i can't resist
evertime i try to call it quits
Hear come some tits, uh hu, thats a big ten 4
Uh hu
I like big tits
tits
Well they come in twos
hard to choose
your favorite tit
uh hu
I like tits for dinner or a noon time snack
I like tits for lunch a big tit attack
I like tits for breakfast
eggs bendict tits
what it is tits what it is
their where its at
tits
they give me shivers when they bounce around
puckered up or hanging on the ground
I like big tits
uh hu
tits say's it all for me
tits

Jooser
11-20-2008, 06:57 PM
When James Harrison visited the Jedi Temple, he turned Yoda to the darkside, because he didn't like his sentence structure.

stlrz d
11-20-2008, 08:02 PM
James Harrison has eliminated the need for the Emergency Broadcast System because there will be no more emergencies...except the ones caused by James Harrison.

steelz09
11-20-2008, 08:03 PM
Harrison will probably have 3 sacks tonight by himself

ColumbusSteelerFan
11-20-2008, 08:10 PM
James Harrison - all 57 varieties of Heinz. Why would you want anything else?

Starlifter
11-20-2008, 11:37 PM
i posted these in another thread:

since I'm a pilot in real life allow me to give an aviation reference...

When James Harrison flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. James Harrison is never under pressure

James Harrison has never landed with a cross-wind. the wind would never dare get cross with James Harrison

James Harrison doesn't shoot approaches, he kills them

James Harrison pushes his own aircraft off of the gate

If you become hypoxic during a flight, apologize to James Harrison and ask him to remove his foot from your throat

MeetJoeGreene
11-21-2008, 12:17 AM
James Harrison's nails need to be cut by industrial strenght bolt-cutters.


James Harrison once cracked his knuckles on a ski slope. It started to cause a massive avalanche. But then James Harrison told the snow to stop moving. And it listened.

eniparadoxgma
11-21-2008, 12:40 AM
If you become hypoxic during a flight, apologize to James Harrison and ask him to remove his foot from your throat

Awesome. :Beer :Beer :Beer

Iron Shiek
11-21-2008, 10:49 AM
Driving from Columbus to Cincinnati I passed Mile Marker 92...aka the "real" Bermuda Triangle. Vehicles with Bengal or Browns paraphanalia on them have been known to disappear never to be heard from again. Rumor has it James Harrison jumps out of the woods and devours the car....whole....all whilst being undetected by any other drivers.

NorCal-Steeler
11-22-2008, 11:19 PM
When James Harrison was asked about his botched long snap his answer was " my balls obstructed my view "

Jigawatts
11-23-2008, 11:55 AM
When James Harrison was asked about his botched long snap his answer was " my balls obstructed my view "

:lol: :lol:

MeetJoeGreene
12-01-2008, 03:40 PM
Tom Brady got injured on purpose and went on IR in the first game of year to avoid facing James Harrison.

Iron Shiek
12-01-2008, 03:56 PM
Thanks for bringing back this thread MJG!

I was trying to think of a way to bring it back but with a fresh spin. I will keep thinking.

Obvious stuff comes to mind...Flozell Adams of the Cowboys leads the league in false starts and will face Harrison this weekend. Ed Werder in Dallas is reporting that Flozell has been twitching and jumping uncontrollably all weekend in anticipation and fear...

This will be the first game in NFL history that a team has more negative yards than positive yards, sealing Harrison's mvp season.

RuthlessBurgher
12-01-2008, 04:14 PM
Goodell considered suspending Matt Light following his punching episode against a helmetless Channing Crowder last week. But, since his endless string of fines and suspensions did not seem to be cracking down on violence in the game, ol' Rog thought a better punishment for Light would be to force him to try blocking James Harrison. That'll teach him!

Discipline of Steel
12-01-2008, 04:44 PM
When the season is over, Obama will have to consider cutting Robert Gates and signing James Harrison as Secretary of Defense. We will be able to recall all of our armies and achieve world domination simply by dropping leaflets with his picture and the words, 'He will come for you and your children!'

Iron Shiek
12-01-2008, 05:05 PM
When the season is over, Obama will have to consider cutting Robert Gates and signing James Harrison as Secretary of Defense. We will be able to recall all of our armies and achieve world domination simply by dropping leaflets with his picture and the words, 'He will come for you and your children!'


James Harrison's face means "Pain" in every language.

Djfan
12-01-2008, 06:21 PM
You can almost hear Jack Lambert reading this and wishing the internet had been around when he played.

stlrz d
12-01-2008, 09:20 PM
James Harrison ate Mike Tyson's children.

Discipline of Steel
12-01-2008, 09:52 PM
James Harrison ate Mike Tyson's children.

Mike Tyson tried to bite James Harrisons ear and broke a toof. James Harrison didnt notice.

RuthlessBurgher
12-01-2008, 10:15 PM
James Harrison ate Mike Tyson's children.

James did not like the way Mike's children tasted, so in order to prevent him from having any more foul-tasting children, he castrated Tyson Grey-Ruegamer-style. That is why Mike talks like that.

Jigawatts
12-01-2008, 10:28 PM
James Harrison is so bad... J.R. shot himself.

http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgfp2087+who-shot-jr-jr-ewing-from-dallas-poster.jpg

Iron Shiek
12-02-2008, 10:11 AM
James Harrison is so bad... J.R. shot himself.

http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgfp2087+who-shot-jr-jr-ewing-from-dallas-poster.jpg


Ahhh, fitting with the opponent that is coming to town this week. Nice one.

Since we are on 80's references...

When the lady in the Wendy's commercial asked "Where's the Beef", Harrison popped up from under the counter and said "B!TCH I ATE IT...SAY SUM'M!!!!!!!!!"

Discipline of Steel
12-02-2008, 12:38 PM
When the earth was young, James Harrison met five giant dinosaurs on the battlefield now called Pittsburgh. He fought these dinosaurs and slew them, casting each of their bodies to the north. When their bodies impacted, they created large holes in the earth. James Harrison then ate their bodies and over eons, the holes filled with water from countless storms. Today we call those water filled holes the Great Lakes.

RKSteel
12-02-2008, 04:20 PM
When the earth was young, James Harrison met five giant dinosaurs on the battlefield now called Pittsburgh. He fought these dinosaurs and slew them, casting each of their bodies to the north. When their bodies impacted, they created large holes in the earth. James Harrison then ate their bodies and over eons, the holes filled with water from countless storms. Today we call those water filled holes the Great Lakes.After drinking some grog to wash down the dinosaurs, James Harrison had to piss like a race horse. When he finished, there was a spilt in the Earth. Today we call that the Grand Canyon.

Mel Blount's G
12-03-2008, 09:11 PM
James Harrison was banned from being on Madden after several lawsuits against the video game company. Even as a video graphic, he hurts real people during the game

DukieBoy
12-03-2008, 11:10 PM
James used to joust, just for fun. He used neither jousting equipment nor horse.
He just ran at the opponents, and knocked them down with his stare. He spared the opponents' horses, of course. James does not believe in hurting animals. His jousting record was 92-0 before he ran out of willing opponents. To this day, he wears the number 92 as a result.

NorCal-Steeler
12-03-2008, 11:39 PM
word has it James Harrison was in that VIP room and Burress shot himself to avoid explaining why he didnt want to stay in Pittsburgh.

SteelTorch
12-04-2008, 12:39 AM
word has it James Harrison was in that VIP room and Burress shot himself to avoid explaining why he didnt want to stay in Pittsburgh.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:wink:

MeetJoeGreene
12-04-2008, 04:27 PM
A poster on the triblive forum said something mildly critical of James Harrison. They shut down the board rather than face his wrath.

ramblinjim
12-04-2008, 04:29 PM
word has it James Harrison was in that VIP room and Burress shot himself to avoid explaining why he didnt want to stay in Pittsburgh.
:Cheers

this was a good one NorCal

Jigawatts
12-04-2008, 04:31 PM
A poster on the triblive forum said something mildly critical of James Harrison. They shut down the board rather than face his wrath.

:lol:

Mel Blount's G
12-04-2008, 04:33 PM
A poster on the triblive forum said something mildly critical of James Harrison. They shut down the board rather than face his wrath.
Actually "they" didn't shut it down. Harrison stared at the computer screen until the board crashed and then the mods scrambled to put up their eulogy message

D Rock
12-04-2008, 04:41 PM
As my daughter and I were driving to Pittsburgh for the Chargers game, she said if we lived in Pittsburgh, it would be cool to live next to a Steeler player so we could get game tickets. We starting going through which players to live next to. We got to JH and I said yes, but I would be too afraid to ask him for tix, as he is one intimitading dude. After I showed her a picture of him she agreed.


He's only about a quarter mile away from me. Maybe I should go ask for tickets and share them with everyone?

Ozey74
12-04-2008, 05:16 PM
When James Harrison goes to haunted houses during the Halloween season, James Harrison's footsteps are the only thing that can be heard while he's walking through it.

RuthlessBurgher
12-04-2008, 05:18 PM
When James Harrison goes to haunted houses during the Halloween season, James Harrison's footsteps are the only thing that can be heard while he's walking through it.

Well, that would sure scare the @#$% out of me!

Ozey74
12-04-2008, 05:23 PM
When James Harrison goes to haunted houses during the Halloween season, James Harrison's footsteps are the only thing that can be heard while he's walking through it.

Well, that would sure scare the @#$% out of me!


He is a scary man!!! He may be the scariest Steeler of all time, IMO. He is at least on par w/Lambert & Lloyd.

:tt2

Discipline of Steel
12-04-2008, 05:36 PM
When King Arthur pulled Excalibur from the boulder, he put it back in and dared James Harrison to pull it out. James picked up the entire boulder by the sword and squashed King Arthur like a bug.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:23 PM
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:23 PM
James Harrison doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:24 PM
When James Harrison does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:25 PM
James Harrison’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:29 PM
James Harrison ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

flippy
01-05-2009, 03:31 PM
James Harrison played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Iron Shiek
01-05-2009, 03:47 PM
Is it time to resurrect this thread?

http://www.planetsteelers.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3172&hilit=James+Harrison

Iron Shiek
01-05-2009, 03:50 PM
That Legend of James Harrison thread is hours of endless fun and laughter.

One of my favorites per Russ:


James Harrison challenged John Kruk and Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles contest?" James Harrison won by 5.

MeetJoeGreene
01-05-2009, 03:53 PM
James Harrison is so great that he inspired this thread and the James Harrison Facts Thread.

Iron Shiek
01-05-2009, 04:02 PM
Phillip Rivers is so scared of facing Harrison this week, he is changing his name to Willup Shmivers hoping he won't notice. Its no use.

Some form of this may have been used but here goes:

James Harrison clicked on this :Boobs emoticon, and she got pregnant.


James Harrison has proclaimed himself a candidate for the Stains head coaching job...only to show up to the interview, take a toxic dump in their toilets, and force every Stain to contract yet another staph infection.

mshifko
01-05-2009, 04:13 PM
haha i love threads like these...harrison is scary good...

flippy
01-05-2009, 05:01 PM
That Legend of James Harrison thread is hours of endless fun and laughter.

One of my favorites per Russ:


James Harrison challenged John Kruk and Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles contest?" James Harrison won by 5.


That's awesome.

hellbanger
01-05-2009, 05:37 PM
i could be wrong but i think i read someone that JH was the only one on the Steelers teams that scared Cowher. He does seem to have an intimidating presence. If thats true thats awesome! :P

stlrz d
01-05-2009, 06:21 PM
James Harrison can turn out the lights in the stadium, sack the QB, strip the ball, recover the fumble, score a TD, shower and be in bed before the stadium gets dark!

stlrz d
01-05-2009, 06:26 PM
http://www.airlineempires.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/merge2.gif

:P

Discipline of Steel
01-05-2009, 06:31 PM
James Harrison can turn out the lights in the stadium, sack the QB, strip the ball, recover the fumble, score a TD, shower and be in bed before the stadium gets dark!

Bed? You mean you believe he sleeps? He just waits... Come on Man!

stlrz d
01-05-2009, 06:43 PM
[quote="stlrz d":nluogg89]James Harrison can turn out the lights in the stadium, sack the QB, strip the ball, recover the fumble, score a TD, shower and be in bed before the stadium gets dark!

Bed? You mean you believe he sleeps? He just waits... Come on Man![/quote:nluogg89]

Doesn't he have a girl? Who said anything about sleeping? ;)

Discipline of Steel
01-05-2009, 06:50 PM
[quote="Discipline of Steel":3stuh6bd][quote="stlrz d":3stuh6bd]James Harrison can turn out the lights in the stadium, sack the QB, strip the ball, recover the fumble, score a TD, shower and be in bed before the stadium gets dark!

Bed? You mean you believe he sleeps? He just waits... Come on Man![/quote:3stuh6bd]

Doesn't he have a girl? Who said anything about sleeping? ;)[/quote:3stuh6bd]


Yeah, Jessica Simpson for one! :Boobs

flippy
01-05-2009, 07:36 PM
i could be wrong but i think i read someone that JH was the only one on the Steelers teams that scared Cowher. He does seem to have an intimidating presence. If thats true thats awesome! :P

The LB coach was afraid to cut him. Thought he'd be waiting for him in the parking lot with a tire iron.

Iron Shiek
01-06-2009, 01:12 PM
i could be wrong but i think i read someone that JH was the only one on the Steelers teams that scared Cowher. He does seem to have an intimidating presence. If thats true thats awesome! :P

The LB coach was afraid to cut him. Thought he'd be waiting for him in the parking lot with a tire iron.


Tire iron...aka his right forearm... :Steel

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:33 PM
James Harrison hands Dick Lebeau next weeks game plan at the end of every game.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:37 PM
James Harrison is his own dad and grandfather.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:38 PM
Count to 10, that's how many seconds it would take James Harrison to sack you 92 times.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:40 PM
James Harrison is Jesus' dad.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:42 PM
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. James Harrison does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:43 PM
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of James Harrison."

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:44 PM
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that James Harrison didn't kill you in your sleep.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:45 PM
james Harrisons is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:46 PM
James Harrison can get Blackjack with just one card.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:48 PM
If James Harrison knew about this thread, he'd delete the internet.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:50 PM
James Harrison knows what Willis is talking about.

flippy
01-06-2009, 01:51 PM
james Harrison puts the laughter in manslaughter.

stlrz d
01-06-2009, 02:03 PM
James Harrison doesn't like the Sprite, or anything, in you.

Iron Shiek
01-06-2009, 02:54 PM
James Harrison knows what Willis is talking about.

Harrison also knows where the beef is as well.

Not to mention the fact that UPS doesn't dare ask what brown can do for Harrison. He don't need any help.

flippy
01-06-2009, 04:45 PM
James Harrison invented beer.

flippy
01-06-2009, 04:47 PM
This is probably tasteless, but I don't have a filter......

You know how so many QB's kids are born with a mental/physical handicap? That was probably caused by a James Harrison strip sack.

flippy
01-06-2009, 04:49 PM
James Harrison got with KoolAid girl in college. No one has ever mentioned it to him.

Iron Shiek
01-06-2009, 04:56 PM
This is probably tasteless, but I don't have a filter......

You know how so many QB's kids are born with a mental/physical handicap? That was probably caused by a James Harrison strip sack.

We should call that a "Strack"....or a "Deebo". Or whatever James Harrison wants to call it I suppose would suffice.

flippy
01-06-2009, 04:58 PM
This is probably tasteless, but I don't have a filter......

You know how so many QB's kids are born with a mental/physical handicap? That was probably caused by a James Harrison strip sack.

We should call that a "Strack"....or a "Deebo". Or whatever James Harrison wants to call it I suppose would suffice.

We need Myron to name it.

RuthlessBurgher
01-06-2009, 05:04 PM
This is probably tasteless, but I don't have a filter......

You know how so many QB's kids are born with a mental/physical handicap? That was probably caused by a James Harrison strip sack.

We should call that a "Strack"....or a "Deebo". Or whatever James Harrison wants to call it I suppose would suffice.

We need Myron to name it.

If I know Myron, he would go with "Fumblerooski." That's a great name for a play, and since the original "Fumblerooski" play has been outlawed in NFL, college, and high school play, we need to bring the Fumblerooski name back into football consciousness.

Discipline of Steel
01-06-2009, 05:54 PM
Last night when i told little guy the big news, he presented me with a late Xmas present... A #92 Harrison Steelers T-shirt. Smart kid...and right on time. I told him about how James Harrison created the Great Lakes as his bedtime story.

Iron Shiek
01-07-2009, 05:53 PM
James Harrison is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

James Harrison likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

Brady Quinn is allowed to live because James Harrison doesn't kill women.

James Harrison once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.

Who let the dawgs out? James Harrison let the dogs out... and then suplexed them through an Oldsmobile.

Oviedo
01-07-2009, 05:57 PM
When the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse have nightmares they are dreaming about James Harrison.

NJ-STEELER
01-07-2009, 09:26 PM
james harrison has asked league officals for the number 666.

league officals wondered "but, thats the number of the BEAST"

to which JH responded "and, you're point would be???"


the league said if they gave him 666, none of the other teams would show up to play as that number would give them advance warning of their destruction

NJ-STEELER
01-07-2009, 09:34 PM
some 20 years or so before James Harrison's destruction of the NFL

a metal band tried to warn everyone of james harrison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUOpUqni0_g

Discipline of Steel
01-09-2009, 09:11 AM
james harrison has asked league officals for the number 666.

league officals wondered "but, thats the number of the BEAST"

to which JH responded "and, you're point would be???"


the league said if they gave him 666, none of the other teams would show up to play as that number would give them advance warning of their destruction

James Harrison's initials are James Harrison. :mrgreen:

(ps I enjoyed the video!)

NorCal-Steeler
02-02-2009, 03:35 PM
After his int i think this thread needed a bump!!

Iron Shiek
02-02-2009, 03:42 PM
Amen brother.

The only reason he was taking oxygen after his 100 yard return was so he could exhale more CO2 so that all the grass he stomped on had a chance to survive.

snarky
02-02-2009, 03:43 PM
When James Harrison uses his inside voice, he sounds like Billy Mays.

Discipline of Steel
02-02-2009, 03:54 PM
Ah, my fav thread revived!!!

I saw mention earlier that James Harrison's unsportsmanlike conduct penalty was reminiscient of Jack Lambert slamming, then standing over, Cliff Harris in the Super Bowl for patting our kicker on the head after he missed a field goal. I think the two incidents do parallel particularly well as both players were asserting alpha male status over oppenents whom they perceived had wronged them. My how times have changed. Way back then, the players were seperated, the game went on, but the psychological damage was done. In this case, which happens to be in the Roger Goodell era, Harrison gets a flag for intimidating play and now the damage is done to his reputation. But I believe that most NFL players will acknowledge the preceding low block and continue to fearfully respect the man.

feltdizz
02-02-2009, 04:37 PM
was the guy Harrison got the flag on the same guy who ran over Berger?

Discipline of Steel
02-02-2009, 06:00 PM
I dont think so, Adrian Wilson ran over Berger

snarky
02-02-2009, 06:32 PM
When James Harrison stares at the sun, it blinks first.

Iron Shiek
02-02-2009, 08:29 PM
When James Harrison stares at the sun, it blinks first.

Oh yeah? Well the moon hides every thirty days because Harrison gets sick of looking at it.

NorCal-Steeler
02-02-2009, 09:06 PM
I understand on the int return that the steelers were not blocking for Harrison but trying to save Cardinal players for the second half to keep the game competitive.
When they asked Warner about the return he responded by saying he was thankful for the sidelines so he could get out of the way.
When the reviewed the replay and saw Harrison landing on Fitz, Fitz replied it was the closest i could get to laying down the red carpet for Harrison.
When they asked Warners wife about the possibility of Warners bust going into the HOF she smiled and said "thats nice but when Harrison goes i want to personaly measure his face by sitting on it!!"
The unsportsman like penatly turned out to be a mistake the guy was actualy kneeling at James' feet and the ref was just giving him a rag to shine his shoes with.

Iron Shiek
02-03-2009, 10:14 AM
Can you imagine if Harrison won MVP?


They ask what he was gonna do now...and he says going to Disney World with this evil glare. I think any kids watching would've $hit their pants and cried and probably never want to go to Disney World again.

NorCal-Steeler
02-03-2009, 11:42 AM
for James they would have to close the park and hide Snow White.

Discipline of Steel
02-03-2009, 12:21 PM
James Harrison at Disney World is like Tyrannosaurus rex in a garden of orchids.

MeetJoeGreene
02-03-2009, 12:43 PM
for James they would have to close the park and hide Snow White.


until James Harrsion demanded Snow White to be brought to him for his pleasure lest he destroy space mountain with a forearm.

Jigawatts
08-10-2009, 04:27 PM
Shieks post in the Super Bowl Or Bust thread reminded me of this thread.

Here's how James rolls.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/08/smartsilverback.jpg

Jooser
08-10-2009, 04:35 PM
Shieks post in the Super Bowl Or Bust thread reminded me of this thread.

Here's how James rolls.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/08/smartsilverback.jpg

He's daring someone to laugh at him. Incidentally, I hear it gets about 80 miles to the gallon on his sweat!

Discipline of Steel
08-10-2009, 06:30 PM
He bought that car to help counterbalance the notion that he was unable to digest the playbook for several years. Looks pretty smart these days!

Iron Shiek
08-10-2009, 08:33 PM
Shieks post in the Super Bowl Or Bust thread reminded me of this thread.

Here's how James rolls.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/08/smartsilverback.jpg

He's daring someone to laugh at him. Incidentally, I hear it gets about 80 miles to the gallon on his sweat!


Say Sum'm! I dare you....

:Steel :Steel :Steel

RuthlessBurgher
08-11-2009, 08:46 AM
Shieks post in the Super Bowl Or Bust thread reminded me of this thread.

Here's how James rolls.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/08/smartsilverback.jpg

He's daring someone to laugh at him. Incidentally, I hear it gets about 80 miles to the gallon on his sweat!


Say Sum'm! I dare you....

:Steel :Steel :Steel

Hines Ward dared to laugh when James arrived to camp in the Smart Car. It was no coincidence that Ward did not practice during the first four days of practice after that.

http://community.post-gazette.com/resized-image.ashx/__size/500x400/__key/CommunityServer.Components.PostAttachments/00.00.18.29.74/dianasteelers0731c.jpg

James told Tomlin to pretend it was a coach's decision.

http://community.post-gazette.com/resized-image.ashx/__size/500x400/__key/CommunityServer.Components.PostAttachments/00.00.18.29.79/dianasteelers0731b.jpg

Iron Shiek
08-11-2009, 12:09 PM
Shieks post in the Super Bowl Or Bust thread reminded me of this thread.

Here's how James rolls.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/deadspin/2009/08/smartsilverback.jpg

He's daring someone to laugh at him. Incidentally, I hear it gets about 80 miles to the gallon on his sweat!


Say Sum'm! I dare you....

:Steel :Steel :Steel

Hines Ward dared to laugh when James arrived to camp in the Smart Car. It was no coincidence that Ward did not practice during the first four days of practice after that.

http://community.post-gazette.com/resized-image.ashx/__size/500x400/__key/CommunityServer.Components.PostAttachments/00.00.18.29.74/dianasteelers0731c.jpg

James told Tomlin to pretend it was a coach's decision.

http://community.post-gazette.com/resized-image.ashx/__size/500x400/__key/CommunityServer.Components.PostAttachments/00.00.18.29.79/dianasteelers0731b.jpg


I found the injury report online:

Hines Ward: Out (Cellphone stuck in "nether region")

hellbanger
08-11-2009, 06:41 PM
James Harrison can start a fire by rubbing Ed Reed and Bart Scott together.


I think that would make a great t-shirt. JH in the freshly clear cutted woods rubbing those 2 together over a pile of trees. (with other :ratsuck and :brownssuck players mixed in the pile. :)

stlrz d
08-11-2009, 06:52 PM
James Harrison can start a fire by rubbing Ed Reed and Bart Scott together.


I think that would make a great t-shirt. JH in the freshly clear cutted woods rubbing those 2 together over a pile of trees. (with other :ratsuck and :brownssuck players mixed in the pile. :)

Heh! Thanks!

I had forgotten about that one. :D My favorite that I came up with (based on the "I like the Sprite in you" ad campaign) is "James Harrison doesn't like the Sprite, or anything, in you." :lol:

(yes I'm laughing at my own joke) :oops:

snarky
08-11-2009, 10:59 PM
James Harrison can do zero-armed push-ups.

RuthlessBurgher
08-12-2009, 09:22 AM
James Harrison can do zero-armed push-ups.

And when he does them, he doesn't push himself up...he pushes the rest of the world down.

stlrz d
08-12-2009, 05:47 PM
James Harrison eats raisins and poops grapes.

Wait, that's what babies do! :P

Discipline of Steel
08-12-2009, 06:35 PM
James Harrison eats raisins and poops grapes.

Wait, that's what babies do! :P

So...Asian poops eggrolls.

MeetJoeGreene
06-14-2010, 11:22 AM
James Harrison could stop the oil leak in the gulf by plugging it with one of his boogers... but BP and the president are afraid to ask him.

Jigawatts
06-14-2010, 11:47 AM
James Harrison could stop the oil leak in the gulf by plugging it with one of his boogers... but BP and the president are afraid to ask him.

Not as good as my idea to plug the leak with Sarah Palin. :lol:

flippy
06-14-2010, 11:48 AM
The NFL commish will consider lengthening the NFL season if James Harrison approves.

RuthlessBurgher
06-14-2010, 11:49 AM
James Harrison's Booger > Sarah Palin

(only on this board could someone write something as insane as that comparison). :lol:

flippy
06-14-2010, 11:49 AM
Ben woulda never gotten in trouble if he invited James Harrison to GA.

flippy
06-14-2010, 11:51 AM
James Harrison could stop the oil leak in the gulf by plugging it with one of his boogers... but BP and the president are afraid to ask him.

James Harrison's cannon ball into the Gulf was the reason for the oil leak in the first place.

flippy
06-14-2010, 11:54 AM
It's no coincidence that Mount Eyjafjallajökull's first eruption coincided with James Harrison's first bout of diarrhea.

MeetJoeGreene
06-14-2010, 12:55 PM
If James Harrison were a Lost fan, they wouldn't have had so many loose ends and unexplained stuff at the end - he wouldn't have let them.

If James Harrison was in Lost, he would have killed the smoke monster during the pilot by body slamming it like a drunken Stains fan.

flippy
06-14-2010, 01:16 PM
If James Harrison were a Lost fan, they wouldn't have had so many loose ends and unexplained stuff at the end - he wouldn't have let them.

If James Harrison was in Lost, he would have killed the smoke monster during the pilot by body slamming it like a drunken Stains fan.

James Harrison could never be lost. He always knows where he's going. The plane would have never wrecked if James was on it. The magnetic force on the Island wouldn't want any James Harrison.

rpmpit
06-14-2010, 01:40 PM
After only 3 days of competition, FIFA has announced James Harrison as World Cup Champion. Congratulations James!!!

flippy
06-14-2010, 02:34 PM
James Harrison's first post on the Trib took it down.

He's also rumored to have killed SF as well.

focosteeler
06-14-2010, 05:32 PM
This thread just made my day....now my attempts..


If you want a list of James Harrison's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, James Harrison jumps out.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met James Harrison.

James Harrison can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass...at night.

James Harrison does't step on toes, he steps on necks.

He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at James Harrison dies....

Sugar
06-14-2010, 05:42 PM
I wonder what Harrison's reaction would be if he ever saw this thread?

flippy
06-14-2010, 06:39 PM
I wonder what Harrison's reaction would be if he ever saw this thread?

Sure he does. He knows everything. Hopefully he realizes you didn't know any better when you asked that question. I'm sure he's an understanding man when it comes to Steelers fans.

MeetJoeGreene
06-14-2010, 10:16 PM
If James Harrison starred in the show 24, it would be call :02 - as in 2 seconds.

That's how long it would take him to annihilate all of the bad guys.

flippy
06-15-2010, 06:17 AM
If James Harrison were on Glee, that show wouldn't be very gleeful.

flippy
06-15-2010, 06:18 AM
If James Harrison were on Last Comic Standing, he would kill.

SteelAbility
06-15-2010, 08:01 AM
Uber Bears Fan 1: "If you had Ditka versus James Harrison in a wrestling match, who wins?"
Uber Bears Fan 2: (chewing on his Bratwurst and slugging a beer) "Uhhh ... Harrison, you idiot!"

flippy
06-15-2010, 08:16 AM
James Harrison could've created the Heavens and Earth in a single day without resting.

flippy
06-15-2010, 08:17 AM
James Harrison can count to infinity.

flippy
06-15-2010, 08:18 AM
James Harrison knows the last digit of pi.

MeetJoeGreene
06-15-2010, 08:34 AM
James Harrison once moved the immovable object. He then resisted the irresistible force.

So the two of them ganged up on James. He kicked both their azzes and made them cry like babies.

flippy
06-15-2010, 08:36 AM
Q. What's James Harrison's kryptonite?

A. It was a trick question, it doesn't exist.

SteelAbility
06-15-2010, 09:56 AM
Q. What's James Harrison's kryptonite?

A. It was a trick question, it doesn't exist.

I thought it was the "holding the neck isn't really a hold" rule. :roll:

Prok
06-15-2010, 01:07 PM
James Harrison turned Matt Light into play-doh.

Billy Bellicheat is such a genius he tried to psych James out by never double teaming him.

:D

flippy
06-15-2010, 03:09 PM
James Harrison is his own father.

RuthlessBurgher
06-15-2010, 03:25 PM
James Harrison tried shaving his head with a conventional razor. Hair was too strong.

James Harrison tried shaving his head with a machete. Hair was too strong.

James Harrison finally just shouted, "Get the #*@% off my head!" and instantly his head was clean-shaven.

James Harrison's hair was then used to create Troy Polamalu (and LaMarr Woodley was constructed out of Harrison's nail clippings).

focosteeler
06-15-2010, 03:26 PM
James Harrison can count to infinity.

TWICE

Oviedo
06-15-2010, 03:27 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

flippy
06-15-2010, 03:39 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

You gotta cut him some slack. Every movie featuring Chuck Norris was really bad. That didn't make his round house kick any less powerful.

flippy
06-15-2010, 03:40 PM
James Harrison can eat 1000 bean burritos and he never gets the runs.

RuthlessBurgher
06-15-2010, 04:01 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

Scripture tells us that God is not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

The fact that Oviedo is still breathing after the above post tells us that James Harrison is also not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

:wink:

flippy
06-15-2010, 07:14 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

Scripture tells us that God is not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

The fact that Oviedo is still breathing after the above post tells us that James Harrison is also not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

:wink:

Mercy is for the weak. Mr Harrison does not train to be merciful here. Do you have a problem with that Mr RuthlessBurger?

Ovi? Ooooooovi? You alive?

RuthlessBurgher
06-16-2010, 09:09 AM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

Scripture tells us that God is not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

The fact that Oviedo is still breathing after the above post tells us that James Harrison is also not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

:wink:

Mercy is for the weak. Mr Harrison does not train to be merciful here. Do you have a problem with that Mr RuthlessBurger?

Ovi? Ooooooovi? You alive?

Nah. Harrison just gave the impression that he was going to break Ovi's neck, and then just honked his nose instead.

http://www.diabetoboy.com/images/miyagi.bmp

RuthlessBurgher
08-18-2010, 07:54 PM
The Terrible Towel gained popularity when Lynn Swann and John Stallworth waved them back in the day at Three Rivers Stadium.

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0128/nfl_g_swann_stallworth_200.jpg

This season, James Harrison will step it up a notch, by waving Doogie's massive concrete Iraqi Terrible Towel in Heinz Field.

http://planetsteelers.com/phpBB3/download/file.php?id=227

As an aside...look at Swannie's face in the black and white photo above...tell me he doesn't look EXACTLY like Hines Ward with that $#!%-eating grin on his face.

Discipline of Steel
08-18-2010, 10:38 PM
Just in case anyone is wondering....James Harrison is by no means done. The Legend will continue and I, for one, am looking forward to seeing that this season. :Beer

AngryAsian
08-18-2010, 11:06 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

Scripture tells us that God is not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

The fact that Oviedo is still breathing after the above post tells us that James Harrison is also not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

:wink:

Mercy is for the weak. Mr Harrison does not train to be merciful here. Do you have a problem with that Mr RuthlessBurger?

Ovi? Ooooooovi? You alive?


Sweep the leg.

Captain Lemming
08-20-2010, 10:47 PM
If James Harrison can manage more than 2 sacks in the final 8 games of a season he would be the real James Harrison. He was the counterfeit James Harrison the second half of last season.

Scripture tells us that God is not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

The fact that Oviedo is still breathing after the above post tells us that James Harrison is also not only all-powerful, but merciful as well.

:wink:

Mercy is for the weak. Mr Harrison does not train to be merciful here. Do you have a problem with that Mr RuthlessBurger?

Ovi? Ooooooovi? You alive?


Sweep the leg.

http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/7/3/collegehumor.19872737a4d940aa76c4caa3a8d9d3b5.jpg

NJ-STEELER
08-20-2010, 11:01 PM
"no mercy"

ramblinjim
08-30-2010, 01:43 PM
Keyser Söze fears James Harrison
..
..
..
so should Kyle Orton

Jigawatts
09-27-2010, 02:32 PM
Did anyone see the interview with A. Smith, J. Farrior, L. Woodley, and James Harrison
on the CBS pre-game show?

"We didn't need the bandwagonners then and we don't need them now." - James Harrison

aggiebones
09-27-2010, 03:06 PM
James ain't done. But even if he someday quits football, he still ain't done.

We know Star Wars is fiction because James Harrison would be the Force. And noone uses James Harrison.

SteelAbility
09-27-2010, 03:58 PM
Right the legend of Harrison seems to entail playing a key role in pick6 plays with the opponent deep in Steeler territory ... and in Raymond James Stadium. :tt2

Discipline of Steel
09-27-2010, 06:59 PM
James Harrison suplexed VY and took two other Steelers with him. Then he got fined and was pissed off. Now look at Josh Freeman, poor kid is still in a fantasy land after the beat-down. I hope Goodell finds something to fine James Harrison for again this week!

NJ-STEELER
10-20-2010, 06:04 AM
after sunday's game the pharmaceutical drug company Sanofi-Aventis has informed the FDA its changing the name of its sleep aide drug from 'ambien' to ' james harrison'

MeetJoeGreene
10-22-2010, 11:36 AM
James Harrison once got find 75K and caused the NFL rules to be changed because of two devastating LEGAL hits in a single game.

flippy
10-22-2010, 11:59 AM
James Harrison doesn't knock guys out with his helmet. Hr knocks them out with his death stare. Go watch the Cleveland hits in slo-mo. Both players got knocked out prior to impact.

ramblinjim
10-22-2010, 03:01 PM
James Harrison retires from football............Roger Goodell never seen or heard from again.

Discipline of Steel
10-22-2010, 04:06 PM
James Harrison suplexed VY and took two other Steelers with him. Then he got fined and was pissed off. Now look at Josh Freeman, poor kid is still in a fantasy land after the beat-down. I hope Goodell finds something to fine James Harrison for again this week!

Yes I am quoting myself...

James Harrison has been laying THE BEAT DOWN on opponents all year. Now my wish has come true, lets see the effect this Sunday :Beer

DukieBoy
10-22-2010, 04:52 PM
If the NFL goes flag football, I'll bet nobody dares touch James' flags .... NOBODY.

cruzer8
10-22-2010, 05:04 PM
James Harrison doesn't pay fines. People on facebook pay them for him.

NJ-STEELER
10-22-2010, 06:32 PM
just got word that the running of the bulls festival in Spain is on again.

apparently everyone was cancelling their plans for it when rumors of replacing the 20 bulls with 1 James Harrison were floating around

Discipline of Steel
03-05-2011, 10:05 AM
Roger Goodell goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down upon Goodell and says, "6 foot tall, 242 pounds, 20 inches, 10 pound left ball, 12 pound right ball, Turner Brown."

Goodell says, "Excuse me but what did you say?"

The big guy looks down and says, "My names James Harrison, now turn around!"

sentinel33
03-05-2011, 12:43 PM
James was at a party and someone started talkin about how yawns are contagious and for the first time in his life James had no idea what they were talkin about.

Discipline of Steel
03-06-2011, 08:42 AM
James BEARison and RABBIT Goodell are taking a dump in the forest together. James turns to Goodell and asks, "Hey, do you ever have a problem with sh*t sticking to your fur?" Goodell replies, "No, not really." So James picks him up and wipes his butt with him.

Discipline of Steel
10-30-2014, 07:18 AM
The Legend continues...scoring change credits him with a 2 sack/1 FF effort v the Colts. Might we begin to see more of him on the field....has he earned more PT??

WindyCitySteel
10-30-2014, 08:14 AM
Be careful what you wish for. The sacks were nice, but watch all the plays. He's most times easily contained by one guy and has no impact. As his snap counts have gone up, the defense has hemorrhaged yards and points, averaging 400 and 30 the past three games. Incidentally, he played by far his fewest against Jacksonville (21) and the D played their best game.

feltdizz
10-30-2014, 08:18 AM
Be careful what you wish for. The sacks were nice, but watch all the plays. He's most times easily contained by one guy and has no impact. As his snap counts have gone up, the defense has hemorrhaged yards and points, averaging 400 and 30 the past three games. Incidentally, he played by far his fewest against Jacksonville (21) and the D played their best game.

ummm... it was Jacksonville.

just sayin'

Jooser
10-30-2014, 08:21 AM
Joe Flacco says no one on the Steelers D scares him. Then, James Harrison unretired. Flacco sharded a little.

bostonsteeler
10-30-2014, 08:32 AM
Joe Flacco says no one on the Steelers D scares him. Then, James Harrison unretired. Flacco sharded a little.

You would say that too if you'd just played a 60 minute game, standing around and doing what you pleased as if the other team's D were not even on the field, which is what Flacco did a few weeks ago.

phillyesq
10-30-2014, 08:36 AM
Be careful what you wish for. The sacks were nice, but watch all the plays. He's most times easily contained by one guy and has no impact. As his snap counts have gone up, the defense has hemorrhaged yards and points, averaging 400 and 30 the past three games. Incidentally, he played by far his fewest against Jacksonville (21) and the D played their best game.

As feltdizz pointed out, it was Jacksonville.

And he certainly isn't the holy terror on every play that he used to be, but he still drew a number of double teams against the Colts. James Harrison at even 60% of what he was is still awfully good.

Oviedo
10-30-2014, 08:37 AM
Joe Flacco says no one on the Steelers D scares him. Then, James Harrison unretired. Flacco sharded a little.

When Harrison demands the attention of more than one blocker I'll believe he worries the opposing QBs. I think Flacco is probably more worried about Worilds than Harrison since Worilds is the one consistently collapsing the pocket and pressuring the QB the last two games.

K Train
10-30-2014, 08:47 AM
Im glad harrison is there this time....he has a lot of hate in him for the ravens, its good for team morale

Eich
10-30-2014, 08:47 AM
Joe Flacco says no one on the Steelers D scares him.

I can picture Peezy screaming this line at the defense all week long. I hope they bring it like they did last week.

papillon
10-30-2014, 08:53 AM
Be careful what you wish for. The sacks were nice, but watch all the plays. He's most times easily contained by one guy and has no impact. As his snap counts have gone up, the defense has hemorrhaged yards and points, averaging 400 and 30 the past three games. Incidentally, he played by far his fewest against Jacksonville (21) and the D played their best game.

Well, the Colts rushed for 61 yards, so they weren't hemorrhaging yards on the ground, the Colts were behind by 25 points which means to catch up they need big plays and the easiest way to get them is by passing more, Bortles <> Luck from a quarterbacking standpoint.

Harrison isn't what he used to be, but 2 sacks and a forced fumble is pretty good days work. The fans that are so intent on getting young guys on the field regardless of preparedness or capability is becoming mind boggling. The Steelers want to win games this year, they aren't worried about next year at this moment, they are in the hunt and can solidify that position with a win this Sunday. If an increased snap count for Harrison gets them there, then I don't understand the hate for having him on the field.

Even a loss doesn't eliminate them from the playoffs, the Steelers are going to try and win games, period.

Pappy

feltdizz
10-30-2014, 09:25 AM
When Harrison demands the attention of more than one blocker I'll believe he worries the opposing QBs. I think Flacco is probably more worried about Worilds than Harrison since Worilds is the one consistently collapsing the pocket and pressuring the QB the last two games.

Worilds has consistently collapsed the pocket for 2 games and in one of those games JH had 2 sacks and a FF.

I think it's OK to give both LB's credit.

It's not like they play for different teams.

NorthCoast
10-30-2014, 08:39 PM
I still believe it's no incidence as JH has gotten better so has Worilds. Just as JH made Woodley what he was.